The Dominant Girl
by everythingisok
Summary: What happened to Christian during his teenage years when Elena was abusing him? What will happen when another Dom tries to save him? What will happen when they find out their pasts are just all too similar? Multiple POV, Warning: Contain themes of abuse and BDSM.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1-The Dominant Girl**

Ana:

The familiar scent of wood mixed with leather greets my nose as I enter my club. I trail my fingers along the ebony instruments that hang menacingly from the mahogany wood shelves and wracks that line the deep wine walls. I move further inside the club, passing by all the locked, private rooms and head towards the center of the club where the small bar lies. At the furthest end of the club is perhaps the section I like the least-it's where all the public displays of intimate acts are done. Not really my cup of wine, but you know each man to his own.

Jose hands me a shot of tequila and I quickly down it. "what's going on over there?" I ask, pointing to the general direction of _that_ section of the club where a small crowd had gathered. My stomach immediately becomes uneasy when Jose shifts his weight and seems apprehensive to answer me. "Jose, tell me what's going on, now." I order in my Dom voice so he knows I am in no mood to fuck around.

"Um, Ana, you might want to go check this out for yourself. There's a young man over there with a really vicious Dom. She started canning him when I first got here." Jose glances down at his watch nervously and says in a quiet voice. "it has been half an hour since I got here and by the looks of it, she's not letting up and he's not safe wording." I sharply inhale a large shaky breath. Half hour. Half hour is a long time to cane someone.

I quickly make my way over, my black, spiked stilettos clicking across the polished, wooden floor. I wiggle my way through the crowd. My heart jumps and squeezes shut at the sight before me. In front of me, is a boy. His wrists and ankles are bound so tightly to the raven black cross that I can see profound red incisions left in his originally smoot, tan skin, restricting the blood flow. His whole back, from the top of his shoulder blades to his knees, is an intricate maze of cane welts, bruises, and blisters, some parts slightly oozing blood. The boy is shaking, his hands and ankles desperately pull against the restraint as I watch the cane slice into his back one more time and his muscle contorts in anguish. I feel anger spread through my every vein. This isn't BDSM. This is blatant abuse. Any semi-decent Dom would know to stop by now.

Before the cane can slash into his skin once more. I leap on to the small platform and bring my hand up to meet the second crack of the cane, immediately biting my tongue because of how much it hurts. "Stop." I order, going into my own Dom mode, pulling myself up to my whole height and turning my gaze icy cold, shielding the boy behind me. His Dom, with her fake boobs hanging out of the stringy, black lingerie she's wearing, attempts to smile, but her face is so injected with Botox that she looks like the Grinch himself.

"And who are you? Telling me what to do with _my_ sub?" she snarls at me but I am not backing down.

"I am the owner of this club, so I have every right to know if one of our members is being abused by a pathetic excuse of a Dom." I actually spit at her and to her credit, she pales a little.

"Taylor." I call and he is by my side in an instant. "Get this bitch out of here." I command.

"mam, would you please come with me." I hear Taylor ask nicely but I wish he would just kick her out; it's the least she deserves.

"Fine." She huffs and exits with Taylor closely following her. I shake my head sadly; she didn't even ask about her sub, just left him here, without a word of concern or comfort.

It's just now that I notice the small crowd staring at us with baiting breaths and wide eyes, waiting for my next move in either shock or fear, maybe both, but I don't give a flying fuck at the moment. "What are you guys all staring at?" I snap at them. This is partly their fault also, who watches a Dom abuses a boy and not do anything? They should've come get me or Sawyer, who by the way, is fired. He was supposed to keep watch tonight and make sure everything is ok. And a bleeding, under aged boy is not something I consider ok. The voyeurs all scamper away to hide somewhere else and I can finally turn my attention to the boy.

I move in front of the cross and my heart all but shatters. Silent tears streak down his face and he is trying hard not to hiccup because the ball gag is in. "hey, hey…you're ok now. She's gone. I am just going to reach behind you and take the gag out ok?" I croon softly, keeping my voice low and steady. With careful fingers, I untie the ball gag and he lets out several choked sobs. I continue to keep my voice soft as I speak. "I need you to stay calm for me, I am going to use a knife to cut these restraints ok? Just stay still and I'll be quick, ok?" I ask and he gestures his head in what I assume is a nod. I pull out the small, silver knife that is tucked safely away in my pocket for this reason only and bend down, quickly sawing away the tight double knotted ropes. When I am done with all four limbs, he slumps down on the floor, his body too exhausted and beaten up to sit. I crouch down beside him. "Hey, do you think you can stand? I'm going to bring you to a room so you can rest and get you some care for your back. Is that alright with you?" I ask and he's so weak he can only nod. He tries to stand but stumbles. "Here, sling your arm around me." I order and gently take his hand, pulling it around my shoulder and feel his heavy, muscular body weight collapse on me. I do my best as I waddle in my high heels over to the spare room where Jose already had a white bed made (what would I do without Jose?). I lay his limp body on the bed and let out a heavy sigh. I want to demand answers from him but know that he's in no state to answer them and needs care right now. He rolls over on his stomach. I don't even want to imagine what laying on his back will feel like and he groans into the bed.

"I'll be back." I tell him softly. I walk out of the room and run my hands through my long hair. This is beyond fucked up. I have an under aged, bleeding, naked, probably scared-to-shit boy in that room. Where are his parents? Why is he with a woman that is at least 30 years older than him? Why didn't he safe word? Before I can think any more, Jose comes back with water, a first aid kit, and special cream.

"Is he alright?" Jose asks, his chocolate brown eyes burning with concern and I smile at his thoughtfulness.

I shake my head. "I don't know. He looks pretty bad. I'll try to get answers out of him tomorrow but for now he needs to rest. I got this." I say as Jose hands me all the stuff. Jose's such a great Dom, you should see the way he treats Caroline and the after-care she keeps on talking about. They're both such genuine, nice people.

I walk back to the room and my heart broke for probably the third time tonight. The boy is lying on the bed, his face tilted to the side as silent tears slip out of his dark, grey orbs and down his cheek, dripping on to the floor.

"Hey there." I say, grabbing some tissues while crouching down beside him. I gently dab away his tears and he doesn't flinch so I take that as a good sign and continue to wipe away his tears.

"sor..ry." he finally croaks out as another lone tear slide down his soft cheek.

"hey…hey…you don't have anything to be sorry about." I coo and plop down on the floor, sitting cross-legged.

"I don't…usually cry…I don't know what's…gotten into…me. Mistress…doesn't like crying." He continues to stutter and I ball my fist up at the mention of that vile woman.

I gently pick up his hand and he's too warn out to protest. I give it a small squeeze. "It's ok to cry sometimes." I say and dab away more tears, "You go ahead and cry if you need to, plus it's not good to pent up emotions, trust me on this one." I say as I trace small circles on his knuckles with my thumb, hoping to calm him.

"but…it…makes me seem…so weak." He gets out between hiccups and I can tell he's trying hard not to sob.

I snort. "Anybody that can take _that_ canning is anything but weak." I say and for some reason this seems to pacify him a little. There is a brief silent moment between us as I wipe a handful of tears off his cheeks. "You know, people cry not because they are weak, they cry because they've been strong for too long." I say, still dabbing his eyes with a tissue. Ray told me that saying.

He finally closes his eyes and I just continue to sit there, contemplating what to do next. I take off my stilettos so I can move with more ease. I pick up his hand again and softly ask. "I'm going rub cream on and bandage up your back. Is that alright with you?" he nods, somewhat hesitant but I still take it as a yes.

I move around him, my heart aches at the sight of his back, littered with cane welts, bruises, and some blood. This is going to sting so much but it will help in the long run. "I'm sorry, this is going to sting." I say, lightly touching his shoulder. He only nods his head in understanding.

I pick up an alcohol wipe and he hisses as I press the cool cloth on his back. I encourage him to squeeze my free hand when it hurts as I clean up his back with my other one. When I am done, I get out the arnica cream and message it into his whole back and butt, cringing when I see the small, red, hardened marks where the black synthetic cane cracked down, hopefully there won't be anything permanent. He doesn't say anything the entire time as I continue my ministration, just squeezes my hand so tight that I think my knuckles might break. I finally finished and start to stick band aids on the spots that were slightly bleeding. I smile, the first time this whole night, when I'm finished.

I proceed to get the water Jose got me and three Advil (I wish I could get him something stronger). I lower myself down in front of him again and gently nudge the water cup between his lips. "hey sweetie, can you drink some water and take these Advil for me, it will help, I promise." He obediently takes the pills and drinks the whole glass of water which makes me smile warmly at him. "there you go." I praise and grab a cotton white sheet, draping it lightly over his abused body. "try to get some rest for now, I'll be here all night so if you need anything just holler." I instruct as I get up to exist the room until I heard a small whisper, not much more than a peep, "Thank you, mam."

I smile kindly at him: "You're more than welcome and please call me Ana." I say and quietly click the door shut behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Questions and answers

Christian:

For once, instead of startling awake from my nightmares, I slowly slip and slide back into a dreamlike state. I try to blink my eyes but immediately close them when I feel the sting of the sun's warm, hot rays. I slowly reopen them after a few moments and gaze around my surroundings. Last night memories flood my brain as I recall how I ended up on the word's softest bed in this plain, white room. I wonder where Elena is? Did she even ask about me? I shake my head. _No, it's ok, I'm not worth caring about anyway_. I gingerly uncurl and straighten out my legs while carefully doing the same with my arms. I almost laugh in amazement when I find that I can actually move with somewhat ease compared to other harsh punishments. Thank goodness, I don't think Grace is going to believe any more stories I make up about kickboxing "accidents". I notice a small pile of clothes at the end of my bed. I bring them up and inhale the fresh, crisp, lavender scent of laundry detergent, running my hands over the light, cotton fabric. These airy clothes are perfect for my skin's critical condition, my back would not thank me for anything tight and I'm glad to find boxers instead of briefs. I stand and try to walk but hiss when my foot touches the ground and I feel my whole back strain from pressure. Ok, so no normal walking, _yet_. I do my best as I hobble over towards the door.

I step out in the club. The crowded small bar is now completely empty except for the young bar tender cleaning cups. I look over to the now unoccupied cross where I was tied to yesterday and unconsciously rub my wrists that still have the painful cut marks from the ropes ingrained into them. I shake my head, trying to force the memories of everybody gawking and laughing at my naked body out of me. The humiliation is just as much as a punishment as the beating. The club seems much larger as I look around, it's high, dark ceiling rises around me and I, all of the sudden, feel really small standing here.

The bar tender, with his tuffs of mocha dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, smiles widely at me as he sets down a clean wine cup "feeling better?" he asks and I feel embarrassment rush to my cheeks. Does he know about what happened?

He seems to sense my discomfort and quickly changes the subject. "Here, let me help you, Ana's office is this way." He says as he rushes to my side, offering a shoulder to grab on to. I want to keep my strong façade on so I tell him I am perfectly able to walk myself, _thank you very much_.

He all of the sudden stops in his tracks and I feel like maybe I shouldn't have told him no, the poor guy obviously just wanted to help. "Well, if you need me. I'll be right here. Don't hesitate to ask for anything." He says as he goes back to cleaning the cups, all unpleasant feelings forgotten about. I continue my semi-hobble, semi-walk towards Ana's office and he pretends to not see my struggles. Perhaps, I shouldn't have denied help.

I stop by the door to catch my breath and it's just now that I register the sound of yelling. I lightly push the door a tad bit open and peek in. Ana is pacing around the room and I see a tall, buff guy standing by her desk, head bowed, eyes downcast, the textbook example of submission. Is he her sub? I know she's a Dom by the way she walks, how she squares her shoulders, straightens her backs, and holds her chin high, the definition of confidence and power. I continue to watch and Ana runs her hand through her hair. "Sawyer, would you mind explaining to me how the fuck you can let someone so vile in _my_ club when it clearly shows proof right here on her background check that she's been associated with abusing other subs." Ana says, throwing what I assume is Elena's back ground check at this poor Sawyer guy and I watch the sheets of white papers dance about in the air, before scattering around his feet. I see Ana close her eyes as she brings her hand up to steady her forehead; I think she's counting to 10 in her head, or maybe 20. She reopens them and I can see the fury turn into defeat. "How could you?" she asks, voice barely above a whisper and she slumps down by her desk, all of her dominance vanishing into thin air as she buries her head in her hands. "How could you? It's not like you didn't see what happened to me. How could you?" she mumbles. Sawyer looks even more contrite now if that's possible. He must be the security that Elena said she blackmailed to get me in the club, although I don't know with what. I kind of want to stand up for the guy but don't know what I should say.

Ana finally lifts her artic blue eyes up and they meet my grey ones. "Hi…um…I'm sorry to…interrupt…but...um… the guy…out there…said you were…in here and I just…um…wanted to thank…you for…last night…and…I'll…be leaving." I pathetically stutter but Ana stands and immediately comes to my side, slightly lifting up my hunched over back because it hurts so much to stand straight and leads me over to a plush looking purple couch, but not before laying several cushions on it so I can sit more easily. Sawyer lays a heavy hand on my shoulder and whispers a small sorry while lightly giving my shoulder a squeeze. I try to smile back at him, what happened to me wasn't his fault. I sure hope Ana doesn't fire him.

Ana sits down, cross legged, on the couch opposite from me and smiles a pretty smile. It's just now that it hits me that this girl can't be that old. I know she's at least 21 because she runs this place but there's no way she's over 25, or even 23. Her blue eyes glimmer like the arctic ocean would on a sunny day and her long French braid is casually tossed over one shoulder. She's not wearing any makeup, only mascara that makes those big blue eyes stand out even more. She looks sweet and badass all at the same time, dressed in tight, black denim, skinny jeans topped with a loose white t-shirt that's paired with a snug leather jacket which accentuates her slim figure.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she gently takes my hand and traces small, round circles over and over.

"not too bad, I can actually stand." I attempt to half joke and Ana smiles a little, but it doesn't reach her pretty eyes.

"I need to rub cream on you again, it should take most of the burn away after the second time. Or should you feel more comfortable, you can try to do it yourself or Jose out there can also." _No thanks, I don't need another guy staring at my naked ass._

"You can do it." I whisper, looking down at the floor and Ana smiles sadly at me. "You want to wait or get it over with now? I'm sorry, I know this must be uncomfortable."

"Just get it over with." I mutter and shrug off my shirt while disposing my pants as well and turn to face the wall.

I feel Ana's delicate fingers lightly rub the cream over my back, my skin prickles at the sudden coolness and I hiss through my teeth. "Sorry, I should've warn you of the coldness." Ana apologizes but I just shrug.

"There, all done." She says, patting her hands dry on her pants and I quickly redress. Ana's right, the burn did go away. I need to get myself some of this magic cream.

Ana hands me water as well as three more Advil and I gratefully accepted them. She sits back down again and I feel her blue eyes bore into my deep, dark soul as her brain tries to figure me out. I bashfully turn my head and feel myself blush for probably the first time in my life. What. The. Fuck. Is. Happening. To. Me.

"Well, first off, I want to introduce myself. I am Ana. My full name is Anastasia but you see, my parents always called me Anastasia when I was in trouble so I prefer Ana." She sticks out her hand and I lightly shake it, her skin is as soft as a rose petal.

"I'm Christian." I somehow manage to say and she flashes me her smile, blue eyes crinkling in the morning sun that streamed through the open window.

I think we both realize that we have come to the part of this encounter that is uncomfortable. I already suspect that Ana has questions but that doesn't mean I am willing to give answers, no matter how nice she is. _No, Grey, you will not give into those eyes._

"Christian, I want you to be honest with me. How old are you?" she asks, keeping her eyes glued to me. _ok, ok, so I will answer a few of her questions, but only a few._

"17." I tell the truth. Ana closes her eyes and blows out a breath I didn't realize she was holding.

She wrings her hands in her lap and her fingers twiddle with her long French braid, spinning it between her hands. She shifts in her couch, seemingly trying to readjust herself but gives up after several tries. Why is she so jittery?

"Christian, sweetie, I want you to listen to me before you react, ok?" _why does she call me sweetie? I'm not a child._ I nod, nonetheless. She grabs my hand as if to steady me for what she's going to drop next.

"I'm assuming Elena's your long term Dom, am I right?" she asks and I nod, hesitantly. _Where is she going with this?_

"Christian, I have to report this." She says, blue eyes pleading with me as she holds my hand, afraid that I might bolt out the door, which I am considering. I yank my hand out of her soft grip. "No, you can't." I yell, feeling myself dangerously approach the edge of hysterics. I stand up abruptly and point an accusing finger at her. "You don't know a fuck about me or Elena. What do you think? You think she's abusing me, right?" I see hurt flash across her face but I don't wait for her answer as I go on. "She. Isn't. Fucking. Abusing. Me. I signed a goddamn contract. She had my fucking consent, she didn't force me into anything. I thought this lifestyle was supposed to be about consent? Isn't that what this is all about?" I feel my anger unleash like violent waves crashing onto a rocky shore, my voice rising with every syllable.

Ana appears unflustered as she stands up and walks towards her desk, retrieving a single, slim, black folder. Her voice is calm and collected as she speaks, as if she's commanding the world, which she really well could've been. She hands me the folder. "This is a report from the other BDSM clubs in Seattle, she's been abusing other boys also. This one here reported her for molesting a 14-year-old boy and something tells me you weren't exactly 17 when you first started with her either. She's a predator, feasting on children. You don't see it, but I do." Ana flips through some pages and pulls out another reports. "She's been thrown out of not three, but five BDSM clubs in total, not including mine yesterday, for hurting subs. My club was her last resort because she was banned from all the other ones, and if Sawyer didn't have his head stuck up his ass, we wouldn't be having this conversation either. This last one here," Ana points at a report. "she was thrown out because she did not stop at a safe word. I may not know about you or her, but I know abuse when I see it."

I stare at her in shock, my brain failing to process any words. Could it be? Could this be true? Could my Dom, the one I trust with my well-being, the one I consider my only friend, be responsible for all these horrible things? She promised me, promised me that I was the only one. And she also promised me she would stop if I was to ever safe word. _But you never did, so how would you know?_ My subconscious snarls at me. The reports stare back at me, mocking me. How could I not see this? I thought I was special.

I feel the damn tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I will myself to not cry. _Do. Not. Fucking. Cry. Be a fucking man._ I tell myself. Still, stubborn tears leak out of my eyes as I try not to sniff, but it's a necessity.

Ana's hardened gaze melts as she engulfs me into her warm chest and circling arms. "Hey, it's ok. Everything will turn out for the best, I promise." She coos as I snivel in her arms and I officially feel like a baby. I never cry in front of people so why her? I am so lost in the moment that I don't even realize I just let a random stranger hug me.

"How about this? How about we go out and get breakfast, you must be famished anyway, and we can discuss this civilly. You tell me your side of the story and I'll tell you mine, since it won't be fair for only one of us to do the telling and we'll both come up with a plan about what we are going to do about this situation. Deal?" She asks and I contemplate my options. And as strange as this sounds, especially on my part, I trust Anastasia. I can't put my finger on it, but maybe it's her bewitching blue eyes, or perhaps her warm smile, but ultimately it is her calming presence that had me agreeing.

"Deal." The word is out of my mouth before I know what I'm doing. _Looks like Ana's getting her answers after all._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Ana, the girl that's not the Dom

Ana leads me out of her office and waves goodbye to Jose who smiles warmly at me. "Don't worry, bud. Ana doesn't bite…Well, sometimes." He says and winks at her and Ana just flips him off as she ushers me down the hallway that leads out of the club. I was blind folded when I was led in yesterday so I look around at all the instruments displaying on the wall. I spot a picture next to a bunch of floggers hanging from a medieval looking wrack that curves itself artfully around the wall. The picture is the front of guy, you can only see his bear, sculpted chest and in his arms is a brunette girl, also naked. They both have their arms wrapped around each other, their body seemingly doing an intricate dance that only they can understand. Underneath the picture, in big, cursive letters print the words.

 _Dominant: One that Respects, Loves, and Protects his mate._

I scoff at the philosophical words. _If only the world worked like that._

Ana leads me out to a silver Subaru and I ride shotgun. My brain is registering the fact that I am getting into a complete stranger's car with no idea where we're heading to but I couldn't care less at the moment. "I hope you like pancakes." Ana says as she starts the car. _Yes, I love pancakes. How did she know?_ Soon, we're pulling into the crowded parking lot of IHOP. I thought we were going to go eat at her house, does she really want to discuss what we are going to discuss in public?

"Don't worry, we're not eating here. I just ordered take out. You stay here." She says as she hops out of the car, leather jacket sauntering towards the store. Before she can even reach for the door, a guy steps out with a paper bag in his hand. Ana smiles widely at him before he picks her up, lifting her off her foot. Ana widens her smile as she returns the hug. The guy waves at me before handing her the bag and returning back to the store. Are all of her friends this friendly?

"Is he your boyfriend or sub?" I ask and I don't know why my voice is bitter. Ana pulls her seatbelt over and buckles herself in, laughing. "Paul?" she asks, throwing her hair back. "Paul is gay, Christian, so no, I am not his boyfriend or his Dom, and I don't think he even knows what BDSM stands for."

"Music?" she asks, "What do you like to listen to?"

My mouth hangs open in shock. "you're asking my opinion?" I don't even know how the words make it pass my mouth and Ana looks at me in confusion. "Yes, is there something wrong? We don't have to listen to any if you don't want to."

I quickly close my mouth and realize I must look like an idiot with my mouth gawking open. "um, no, it's fine. I just thought that since…you know…you were a Dom that you…um…"

"wouldn't ask for your idea?" Ana finishes my sentence. "yes…don't dominants do whatever they want…even with other people's subs?" I continue to stutter. Elena once had another Dom come and work with me and a shutter travels through my body as I think about him.

Ana sighs as she pulls up to a stop light. "See, Christian. This is how I know Elena's not treating you right. A good or even decent Dom would never abuse his subs. This lifestyle is about consent, but it's also about communication. Subs have a say in things, they're not the Dom's personal sex toy to just play and toss around with. They aren't second class citizens and shouldn't be treated as one. They are living, breathing people who have fragile emotions, just like the rest of us. The number one rule of a Dom is to always listen to and respect his/her Sub. And please, please don't see me as a Dom. I know our first encounter was in the club but outside the club, I am just Ana. And even if you do go back in the club, which you aren't because you're not allowed. I don't want you to view me as a Dom, I would like it if you can see me as a friend."

"Friends." I answer and Ana smiles back at me. "So what music do you like?" she tries again.

"Um, this is weird for my age but I prefer classical." I say and Ana chuckles. "I couldn't tell. Classical it is then." She says and turns on the radio as Bach fills my ears, the steady notes easing away my worries.

I gingerly sit down on the couch as I look around Ana's apartment. It seems…normal. I don't know what I was expecting, but you could never tell that she was into BDSM by her apartment. All four of her living room walls are surrounded by bookcases, books and magazine stack and pile over each other, all fighting for the little space left on the white shelves.

"You like to read?" I ask, standing back up and scanning her bookshelves, f. Scott. Fitzgerald, Poe, Frost, King, and Harper Lee stand proud and tall on her walls.

Ana laughs a little. "You can't tell." She says, making me smirk.

"Do you do editing or something? You practically moved the whole library in here." I ask, letting my fingers trail along the well-worn spine of a rack of books.

Ana smiles. "No, I am not. I do forensic science and run the club at night." She says, moving around her kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink? Water, Juice, Sprite?" she asks.

I stare at her in shock. Chemistry has nothing related to BDSM, either in the physical or emotional sense. My brain has finally decided to function again. "Um, water's fine. My mom would kill me if she saw me drinking sprite. She's a big health freak." I say, looking down at my feet. _Yeah, because Grace would approve of BDSM much more._ I feel my head ache that I have been trying to suppress creep back on, it's twine and veins wrapping around my nerve cells, holding me hostage.

Ana gives me a small smile while handing me my water and taking out steaming hot pancakes. "Let's eat first." She says but I already started devouring my food. I am so fucking hungry, Elena makes a point of not having me eat too much when I'm with her, but I don't give a damn right now. The whole time, Ana doesn't say a thing, just watches me with a sad smile, her light blue eyes turning a slightly darker shade of blue as a certain type of melancholy fills them.

We finish our meal in silence. Ana clears the plates as I just sit here like a fool. "I gather we have come to the part of this that we both don't like, huh?" Ana asks, sitting by me.

I nod, staring down at the souls of my feet. "What do you want to know?" I ask, keeping my voice neutral.

"Well, do your parent know where you are? You've been missing for a day now, I'm sure they're worried." Ana asks as I purse my lips.

"I told them I was at a friend's house over the weekend; they won't suspect anything else for another day." I tell the truth, no point in lying.

Ana nods her head. "Christian. I know this must be hard for you, considering you don't know me that well. But I promise, I have your best interest at heart. One thing I don't tolerate is abuse and you're a victim as much as you don't want to see it. I know because I am one myself." Ana says, blue eyes glued to mine. My head shot up, She's an abuse victim!? How!?

Ana draws in a long, shaky breath. "Look, I don't usually do this, but I figure if I want you to spill your heart and story out to me, I should grant you the same curtesy." She says and I can only nod, now curious.

Ana stands up, pacing around her big open window and gazes out at Seattle's sky line, skyscraper rising one after another, climbing higher and higher. "I was 16 when my mother remarried. Her new husband's name was Steve. I will spare you all the gory details, but he basically forced me to be his sub. While your relationship with Elena may have been consensual, mine was not. He threatened me with everything you can threaten a sixteen-year-old with to not tell anyone and I believed his threats. I was his sub for three years and I can't begin to tell you about all the humiliation, embarrassment, and pain I went through. It ended when I was 19, when I could finally get away. I met a guy named Noah my freshman year who understood the lifestyle. He showed me what it was really about. After that, I became a Dom myself." Ana rambles this information like it's math or some sort of logic test while I sit dumfounded, completely speechless. I will my brain to say something, to think of something, but I can only draw blanks.

Ana sits back down indie style on the floor in front me, leaning her head back on the couch I'm sitting on and closing her eyes. She speaks in a soft voice that strains a little bit "I know what it feels like, ok? To be drowning in this vast, deep sea we call life. To want to curl yourself up at night, that maybe, just maybe if you curl yourself up small enough, you can disappear. To feel like everything around you is falling apart, it's shreds scattering around you, so you hold on to whatever little control you have." And it's at that exact, precise moment that I see her for who she is. She is no longer the Dom that wears spiked heels or the tough girl in a motorcycle jacket and her black, converse boots are just a show. She's just a young girl, trying to take on the weight of the world on her wounded wings. All the extras-club, Dom, whips are all part of her façade, a way that helps her cope, or in more exact words, a way to show the world that it can't break her when in reality, it already has.

"I was fifteen. I was working in her yard, per my mother's request. And out of the blue she slapped me, hard. I think you can figure out the rest yourself. She's married, I know, but I…I just had to try and one thing turned into another. I have a touch issue on my chest…so…I can't have vanilla, that's why I agreed." I say, flightless words spill out of mouth that my brain can't even register. Flynn would be proud, not that he knows about this.

Ana doesn't say anything as she just listens. The empty silence fills the room as I listen to my own thumping heartbeat. Ana tilts her head back, looking up at me. "Seems like we both have issues, huh?" she asks while I snort. "That's one way to put it."

Ana turns around. "Look, Christian. I get that she is your long term Dom but she's abusing you. First, she manipulated you into agreeing to her lifestyle choice, then had you sign a contract that I'm telling you now that you're too young to sign, then proceeded to bring you to my club, which you are also underage for, and canned you till you almost past out. All this time, she's married and she has been seeing other boys, the report shows it." Ana says. _Shit, if you put it like that…how can I not have seen this?_

"Her husband is abusive." I mumble, it was the only defense I can think of for Elena. Ana grabs my hand, "ok, but that doesn't excuse what she did to you."

"No, but he'll flip if he finds out. He'll beat her, I've seen it happen. We can't let that happen." I say, panic seizing me as I try hard to breath. _In and out, you've done this before._ Images of Elena with a broken arm lying in a hospital bed fills my mind and I have to work hard on focusing my breathing.

Ana senses my panic and says in a soothing voice. "ok, it's ok. We'll figure out a way to not have her alone with her husband while we reveal the news, ok?"

"But what about my parents? They'll hate me, I'm not even their real son. I'm adopted" I say, hating the tremor in my voice. God, haven't I cried enough in the past day? _What if Grace kicks me out and sends me back into foster care?_

"Your parents love you, Christian. I am sure of it. They might be slightly disappointed but they love you. Trust me."

"No they don't." I shake my head. "I am not lovable."

Ana frowns at this. "Yes you are. I don't even know you and I already like you." She says and all I can do is blink at her in shock, my brain drawing blanks for the second time tonight.

Ana chuckles. "I mean not like that, but I think you're a good person." she says. _She's lying. She just doesn't want to tell you the truth, which is that you are worthless for love. Love is for fools anyway._ That little annoying voice whispers in my head but for the first time, I turn it off.

"But they'll be so mad." I mumble to myself.

Ana sighs a little. "How about a story? You want to know what my mom did when she first found out about what Steve was doing to me and that I kept it a secret for three years?"

"what?" _Ok, I'll play along._

"She hugged me." Ana answers, a small smile playing by her lips as she recalls a good memory. "She hugged me so tight that I couldn't breath and she kept on apologizing, even when it wasn't her fault."

"But you said you didn't consent. I did. Grace will hate me. She'll send me back to foster care." I say, staring down at the floor as a tear slip out of my eye. _When did I become a cry baby?_

Ana looks at me, her blue eyes sparkling. "How about we make another deal?" she says as I scowl at her. I made a deal with her this morning, and now I am here pouring out my guts and soul to her. I'm not sure another deal is the best idea, but apparently my head had a mind of its own as I nod.

Ana beams. "Ok, so you don't want to tell your parents because you're afraid they'll be disappointed or so mad that they will throw you out and you'll have to go back to foster care again, am I right?"

I nod hesitantly. Ana continues. "Well, I'm not saying they won't be a little disappointed or mad, and don't expect them to embrace you into welcoming arms right away, but _if_ they throw you out, you can come live with me and not go into foster care." Ana says as if it's the most logical thing in this world to say.

"You're crazy." I blurt out and Ana shrugs. "Aren't we all a little?"

"How old are you anyway? You can't take care of me." I state and Ana playfully narrows her eyes at me.

"To answer your question, I'm 22. And yes, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and another human. I have a job and everything." She states, turning her head like a petulant child and I just have to laugh.

I hold my hands in surrender. "Ok, ok. Geeze. But just remember, you came up with this deal, not me. I would hate to be stuck with you 24/7 though." I say as Ana dramatically places her hand over her heart, feigning hurt.

"Well, let's hope your parents keep you then." Ana replies, handing me her phone.

I feel my stomach flip and ties itself into multiple knots as I press in Grace's number. I feel Ana's gentle hand give my shoulder a light squeeze. "It's going to be ok. I promise." She whispers and I force the gulp back down my throat as I press the talk button.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Saving Grace

Christian.

I press talk and my heart rate increases with each ring. "Hello, this is Dr. Grey. How may I help you?" I finally hear my mother's professional voice on the fourth ring.

"Mom." I try to hide the quiver in my throat, but I know she can tell.

"Christian, honey? Where are you? Whose phone are you calling from?" I hear Grace asks, her voice immediately becoming one of concern.

"Mom, can you and dad please come and get me. I need to tell you guys something." I say and feel my own voice shake. Ana gently rubs my back (Why do I find her touch acceptable?)

I think I hear our front door closing. "Yes, honey, of course, stay where you are ok? Your father and I are on our way. Just send us the address and hang tight. We love you, ok?" Grace says and the sound of Carrick slamming the Audi door shut travels through the phone. He never learned to close them gently.

"Love you too." I whisper back out of habit. _Last time you are going to be saying those words, Grey._

"They're going to hate me." I say as Ana takes my hand. "No, they're not. They love you Christian. You just need to trust them." Ana says, giving my hand a small squeeze.

"What's your last name?" Ana asks and I was momentarily confused until I realized she needed a way to address my parents.

"Grey." I answer and Ana smiles.

"Like your eyes." She says, still lightly rubbing my back.

We both hear the knock on the door and sweat breaks out across my forehead. Ana hops up and opens up the door to my mom and dad. They are both dressed in jeans and t-shirts, probably house work.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey. I am Ana, please come in." Ana smile brightly at them and I can already tell that Grace is taking a liking to her by the way she smiles back and Carrick gives her his usual firm handshake.

"Christian." My mother says, quickly approaching me as her trained doctor eyes scan me over for any signs of injury.

"Mom." I manage to say, but the word catches in my throat. _You are going to ruin the only person that cared about you, happy with yourself?_

"How did you end up here? I thought you were at Ben's house." My mother asks and Carrick cocks a single eyebrow at me.

"That's a long story." I mumble just high enough for Grace to hear. I shoot Ana a pleading look and her blue eyes also turn sadder. _They are going to finally realize what a fuck up I am. You need to do this for them, they deserve to know so they can all move on with their lives, without you._

Ana takes the hint and she offers them a seat on the couch while getting up to retreat a single folder, handing it to Carrick. _Smart Girl, my dad would probably take this news better than my mom._ Carrick's parakeet green eyes observe Ana's every move as he takes the folder, weighing the couple pieces of flimsy paper in his hand.

"Mr. Grey. I don't know how I can explain this in words, but your son is an abuse victim. I found out in my own club. The report shows all the evidence and background check on the abuser as well as information about the um…nature of my club. I want to help Christian and I can assure you I already fired the security who let him in, as he is a minor." Ana speaks, her voice calm.

I watch in horror as my dad flips open the pages and his calculating green eyes scan over the material, I watch his Adam's apple move in his throat as he swallows hard, I watch the white pages of the report curl and bend because he's gripping them so tight. _God, this is it. Grey, did you really think you could survive in this perfect family when you are so imperfect?_

The room is ghostly quiet and Carrick finally speaks. "You own a BDSM club?" he asks and Grace's caramel chocolate brown eyes widen in shock as she breaths in loudly. Ana nods her head solemnly. "I wish I can tell you I didn't, but I do. That's where I found Christian yesterday." She says, secretly squeezing my shoulder but before she can pull away, I grab her hand and she sits down beside me.

Carrick hands the report to Grace. I stare at the floor; I didn't want to imagine Grace's brown eyes, filled with disappointment. _You finally have the truth, mom._

"Christian, darling. Can you tell me the whole story?" my mom asks, her voice going back to that cold January night when she first found me at four years old, her voice even more gentle than one of the angels I use to imagine as a little boy.

So I tell them everything-how Elena first slapped me when I went to work for her, how I became her sub after that, how I constantly lied about going to different friend's houses and about all of my kickboxing "accidents", how I went to the club yesterday and how I met Ana.

I finally steal myself the courage to look up when I am done and Grace has tears in her eyes. "But how did she know about your drinking problem?" I shoot my mom a pointed look.

"Oh my gosh, it was me, wasn't it? I told her about all of your problems. Right?" Grace asks and Ana hands her several tissues.

"Mrs. Grey, if I may interrupt. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. My story is one similar to Christian's and my mom didn't find out until three years later. People can be cruel and manipulative, as I am sure you guys are finding out." Ana says, still handing my mom tissue after tissue.

"But I am a doctor, I am trained to look for signs of abuse, but I still handed my own son over to the devil." Grace cries, tears running down her soft cheek and Carrick wraps her in a hug. Ana gives me a small, sad smile while nudging me. "Go give your mom a hug." She whispers in my ear.

My feet somehow stand on their own and make their way over to my mom. "Don't cry, mama bear." I try joking and Grace immediately leaves Carrick's arm and head straight into mine. I try my best to hush and calm her as she lays her head on my shoulder and sobs. I rock from side to side, petting my mom's back. Her hands never once touched my chest and I hate hugs but this, this feels really nice.

My mom squeezes me really hard and I try not to hiss, but still a little strain leaves my lips. "sorry." I mumble and Grace quickly lets me go. "Christian, sweetie, can I see your back?" she asks as I sigh.

Ana quickly steps in. "Mrs. Grey, please pardon me again but here's arnica cream. It helps sooth the skin, I already applied it twice on him, but more applications won't hurt and you're probably best suited for the job. I'll step out for 15 minutes." Ana says, a little bit rushed and embarrassed.

"Thank you, Ana, and please call me Grace."

"Alright Grace." Ana smiles before disappearing down her hall way.

I shrug off my shirt and hear both my parent's visible gasps. "Oh, my poor baby boy." Grace mumbles to herself as her feather like fingers softly trace over some of my cane welts. I wait until she finishes rubbing that weird but amazing cream on me before putting my shirt back on and I notice the way Carrick's gripping Ana's arm chair, his knuckles going white. Grace still has tears trickling down her face as I envelope her into another big bear hug and to my surprise, my dad also joins and I am officially sandwiched between them. I couldn't help the warm, fuzzy feeling that started in the pit of my stomach as it unknotted all of my previous worries, spreading all the way out to my tippy toes. My mom really was my saving grace.

Ana comes back out with me still in Grace's arms. "Told. You." She mouthed to me, a sly smirk spreading across her face.

"Thank. You." I mouth back.

We all sit back down and the atmosphere is much easier; I breath in and out more easily and Ana smiles at me but shifts around in her seat.

I think Carrick senses this and he addresses her with a rare warm smile. "Ana, thank you for taking care of Christian and letting us know." Carrick and Grace both smile at her. _She is such a nice girl, made of flowers, hearts and all things nice, but also mixed with a little bit of fire and ice._

"It was my pleasure Mr. Grey." Ana is polite as always.

"Please, call me Carrick." My dad says and Ana shakes his hand.

Ana seems comprehensive to approach the next subject and I can tell she's trying to tread carefully. "Carrick…um…I hope you understand that since this happened in my club, I have to report Elena." She says and I sag.

Carrick nods, seemingly understanding her struggle. "Don't worry, Ana. I will take care of all the legal matters as I am a lawyer myself. You don't have to worry about anything. Elena will get what she deserves." Carrick says, green eyes darkening into an emerald green and I shiver. _I would not want to be Elena._

Ana twiddles with her thumbs. "yes, and it's from my understanding that her husband is abusive, right?" she looks at me and I nod.

"If it would be possible, could you somehow break the news to the authorities without her husband by her side." I am so glad that Ana is saying this piece of information, I know she couldn't care less if Elena is beaten to death or not, but I do. I hate to admit it, but she's still my only friend, except now I have Ana too.

"Yes, I will try my best." My dad answers and Ana beams. "Great. I am glad I could be of help. And if you guys ever need anything, please don't be afraid to contact me. We don't all bite." She says, winking at me as I smirk back.

Grace gets up with me and I thought we were going to leave, but instead of heading to the door, Grace heads straight to Ana, throwing a very, _very_ shocked Ana into one of her classical tight hugs. I have to laugh at how Ana's blue eyes widen and how her arms hang awkwardly in the air before they gingerly wrap around my mom and she smiles.

"Thank you." I hear Grace say.

"You're more than welcome, Grace." Ana says back, still unable to escape my mom's hug.

"Would you please come and join us for dinner next Sunday, consider it as a thank you." Carrick asks and Ana looks even more surprised. _Yes, my family are all this friendly and don't judge people._

Ana's features morphs back into her big smile. "I would love to." She says as Carrick also pulls her into a hug.

I wave to Ana standing on her balcony as we pull out of her garage and she waves back, leather jacket draped snugly around her. _I think I just made the coolest new friend._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Welch, Mama Grey, and more.

~*~*~ (the next week in school)

 **Christian:**

I walk into school the next day with a specific purpose on my mind. I quickly scan the large cafeteria.  
"Bingo" I say to myself when I spot the chubby kid at the table in the farthest corner of the room with the world's ugliest, square like glasses pushed high upon his pointy nose that is currently stuck in a computer with neon green letters on a black screen. I saunter over to him. "Welch." I say, plopping down as I cross my legs beside him.

"Grey." He greets, not even trying to hide the obvious disdain from his voice. Let's see, probably because I somehow manage to annoy everyone but still have girls swooning over me. _Jealous freak_.

"I need you to do something for me." I head straight to the point.

"And why would I do that?" Welch asks back, already turning his attention back to his damn computer. I smirk, seems like Welch isn't completely stupid after all. I flip his computer shut.

"Hey ass hat! I was just computerizing this game!" Welch exclaims, trying to grab the computer from me but I'm simply too fast.

"I'll make a deal with you. You help me do something and I'll get Julie over there to date you." I say, turning his shoulder and pointing to a girl with honey blond hair and too-big-for-her-own-good boobs.

Welch tries to mask his interest by nonchalance as he rolls his eyes. "What do you need me to do?" He finally asks. My smirk widens, you just need to know what makes people tic.

"I need you to find every piece of information that you can on this girl named Anastasia Steele." I say, scribbling her name down on a piece of paper. I have to know more about her, you will be intrigued if you were me too.

Welch stares at the name for a few second. "Done." He agrees, fingers already dancing across his computer screen.

~*~*~ later in the afternoon

As I walk to my AP economics class I see Welch and his huge toothy grin, hand in hand with Julie, stroll down the hallway. I wink at him as he hands me a folder.

I sit down in the back of Mr. Hull's class. Stupid ass doesn't know a thing about economics. If he were CEO of a company, the place would go bankrupt within a month. I flip open the folder that contains what looks like a background check. _Welch knows his shit_.

 **Anastasia Rose Steele:**

 **Job Information:**

1st year forensic scientist

Owner of the club _Poisonous Rose_

Graduated from University of Washington with highest honor

 **Criminal records and charges**

None

 **Health and medical records:**

 **Height:** 5'10

 **Weight:** 102 pounds (I knew she was thin, but how the fuck can someone be this skinny?)

 **BMI:** 17.1 (Again, why the fuck is she so underweight?)

 **Hairline fracture to skull- March of 2011**

 **Broken leg -January of 2012**

 **Stiches needed on back- December of 2012**

 **Multiple dislocation on both shoulder ranging from the years 2011 to 2013**

"Christian?" Mr. Hull's annoying voice momentarily brings me out of my funk while I just stare at Anastasia's background check. Questions are swimming in my mind, how the fuck does someone achieve this many injuries in such a short time? Is this her step-dad/first Dom's doing? Why the hell would someone need stitches on their back? Does she have anorexia or something? Is that why she's so underweight?

"Christian!" Mr. Hull calls again and I snap. "What the fuck do you want now?" I feel my temper fraying thin and I am sent to the principal's office which doesn't faze me. What's the worst they can do? Paddle me?

 **Grace:**

I just got off the phone with Principal Burke, seems like Christian cursed at one of his teachers, _again._ I explained he's having a hard time with some personal issues and decided to let this one go. I need to go deal with that bitch Elena. Carrick already collected all the evidence and have several witness on standby from all the clubs she got kicked out of.

My heart simply shattered to a million pieces when I saw his back, blue from shoulders to butt, some parts almost turning a blackish grey color. Ana has already assured me that it shouldn't leave any permanents mark and the parts of the skin that were sliced open weren't deep enough to need stitches. I pleaded, almost begged with him to stay at home today but he heard none of it. I still shutter at the thought of him sitting down at a desk chair and I had our housekeeper Stacy lay out cushions on all of the chairs, but Christian simply rolled his eyes as he sat down, making my heart squeeze. Was he so use to this abuse that he could act this normal when I am sure he is in so much pain?

At this thought, the familiar anger bubbles to the surface as I shake hands with two good buddies of Carrick that are police officers down at the station. They are here to help us arrest Elena. On second thought, it's a good thing Christian is at school today.

Elena opens the door and she fails to mask her worry at the sight of the two police officers. "Grace, what is this about?" she asks, pulling herself up and trying to seem more confident. But before she can say anything more, I walk up and slap her across the face. Hard. "That's for Christian." I spit.

The sting in my hand is a satisfying pain as I watch them shove a snarling Elena into the police car with handcuffs. "Ta…Ta…" I give a little wave with my still smarting hand as the sirens zoom away.

Carrick kisses me on the forehead and we head back to our home. I need to get my notes ready to attend a meeting. Too many kids go through sexual abuse and this lesson with Christian really hit home for me. The meeting is for a new organization that I am starting called " _Safe and Sound_ " for kids who won't have somebody like Ana in their lives. Of course, the organization will provide housing and care for any other type of abuse and any child that is in need of a loving heart but all of my other projects mainly focused on neglect and it is time we bring other issues up to the light as well.

My counselor, Gabriel with her usual black messy bun that's held together by a pencil, squeezes and waddles through the doorway as Carrick goes and helps her with the stack of paper and boxes that she somehow managed to balance in her arms.

"Let's do this." She says, huffing as she sets down probably 20 folders and smiles her famous bright smile. Call her crazy, but she gets shit done.

~*~*~ Sunday night (dinner with Ana)

 **Ana:**

I fidget in front of the oak door at Christian's house. _What the fuck are you worried about? Ana, get your shit together. You never cared what people thought of your sexuality so why now?_ Plus, Grace and Carrick both seemed like really nice people and Christian will be there also. I tug at my leather jacket. I wanted to wear something a bit more colorful but then realized my whole wardrobe is black and white. _Maybe I should go shopping? A few pops of color won't hurt, right?_ At least I left my hair down, it's long tips brushing by my hips. With whatever courage I have, I knock twice on the door.

Grace opens the door and all of my nervous energy leaves my body at her warm smile. "Ana, please come in honey. It's chilly outside." Grace says, pulling me in the door. "Um…Grace…I didn't know if you wanted me to bring…anything…so I made apple pie." I say, clumsily shoving my container into Grace's hand. Grace laughs, "How sweet of you, this will be absolutely perfect for desert." She says, opening the container and risking a quick sniff. "Smells amazing, We're going to have to make sure Elliot doesn't eat the whole thing." Just as she finishes her sentence, a boy (Probably 20 some age) with bright blonde hair strides in with a girl, 14 or 15, on his back, her bare feet hanging from either side of his waist.

Before I can introduce myself, the girl jumps off who I assume is Elliot's back and runs towards me. "Are you Ana?" she asks and I smile. "Yes, I am and what's your name, sweetie?" I ask her and she gives me a wide toothy grin that looks cute with her black bob, choppy layers framing her heart shaped face.

"I'm Mia." She announces and grabs my hand, winking at Elliot while whispering not so softly. "She's hot, you should flirt with her". I almost faint on the spot. _Not a good idea, I am sure Grace didn't tell them about my lifestyle._ I laugh nervously and to my great relief. Christian walks in, messy copper hair flopping to the right and he gives me an all-American-boy grin. _And maybe I melted a little bit inside. It's so good to see him happy, he deserves to be happy._

"Fuck off, Mia." He says, slinging his arm around me and walks me into their dining room. I shake Carrick's hand who also smiles at us. _Man, everybody is so damn happy here._

I see the black ball of hair hurl at Christian and Mia springs on his back. "Chrisy, Elliot won't give me piggy back rides anymore. He says I am too old, can you? Pretty, pretty please?" she pouts and I can tell she has Christian wrapped tightly around her little finger as he sighs, but then he sprints towards the back yard, running as hard as he can. "Yes, but only if you can hold on." He laughs and I watch in horror as he pretends to drop Mia in their pool but catches her just in time and stands back up.

"Isn't she so spoiled?" Grace asks, coming behind me and I smile. "Yes, your family is beautiful." I tell her and Grace beams back at me.

"Can you get them in for dinner?" she asks and I gladly obey.

"Hey, time for dinner." I shout at the two, half way across the yard.

"Yes, Mam'." Christian shouts back while saluting and when Mia isn't looking, winks at me. I shake my head but there's a smile on my face, I sure hope he stops with the innuendos.

Dinner was delicious and I ate all of my meal, which is weird for me. I have always been skinny and Steve would punish me if he ever thought I was eating too much or gaining weight so I never learned to eat much, just tiny bites here and there. I help myself to my second serving of mashed potatoes as Elliot helps himself to maybe the 5th? The warm, salty gravy melts in my mouth and I almost moan, thankfully stopping myself in time.

"Eat up." Grace says, dishing more meatloaf on my plate as I stuff my face with food. _Geeze, I am eating like a pig._ But Christian smiles really, really widely at me when he sees me eating so much and I allow myself to a second serving of everything.

We finish dinner and I was going to help with the dishes but Christian grabs me. "um…Ana, can I talk to you…um…in private please." He says and Grace shoots me an encouraging smile as I follow Christian out.

Christian's house is situated behind a lake, the setting sun painting hues of color across the shimmering water. We walk quietly along the doc and Christian remains silent until we reach the end.

"Um…Ana, I've been wanting to tell you something…" he says, throwing a flat rock into the lake and I watch it skid three times before sinking into the heart of the river.

"Sure, what'd you want to tell me?" I ask but Christian doesn't speak right away, choosing silence instead.

We continue to walk and darkness starts to settle a calming blanket around us. Christian shifts his weight. "What is it?" I ask, again.

"Elena's in jail." Christian mutters, staring down at the rock in his hand before chucking it into the water.

I sigh as I bring him into a hug. "You know what she did was wrong, right?" I ask and feel his nod against my shoulder. "I…just…you know…I thought she…was my friend…" his voice cracks in the dark and I hug him tighter.

That's the thing, even when Elena's not causing him any physical pain, the emotional pain is always harder. I should know. And one thing about pain is that it demands to be felt.

He sniffs one more time and roughly rubs his eyes to hide the red rims. I smile sadly at him and sling my arm around his shoulder and we continue our walk in the dark.

"Can I ask you another question?" Christian finally speaks again and I chuckle. "sure, you know you can ask me pretty much anything."

"Well, you know that project _Safe and Sound_ my mom was talking about…" I feel my heart rate pick up, I wanted to help Grace with the kids in that organization the moment she mentioned it during dinner. Christian goes on. "I was thinking…of um…helping her." He says, looking me in the eye as I squeeze his shoulder. "And you know how she's going to split all the volunteers into teams, but I suck with…kids…and I wouldn't know how to handle one, much less ones that undergoes so much trauma, you know, maybe you can help me?" Christian finally asks as I beam.

"You know I can't say no to that." I laugh as Christian high fives me.


	6. Chapter 6-Piper

Chapter 6-Piper

~*~*~ (3 months later, at _Safe and Sound_ )

 **Christian:**

Ana and I are supervising lunch in _SpongeBob's Cafeteria._ Grace has nicknamed all the rooms in _Safe and Sound_ after silly cartoon characters. _The Lion King's den, Elsa's ice palace, Tangle's tower…_ Just to name a few. I watch Natalia (another volunteer) as she helps all the little kids with their food. All of the sudden, I feel Ana poke me in the shoulder as she points to the new, little girl that was admitted here yesterday. I heard she was abused by her step dad and I feel vomit come up my throat, who does that to a little girl that looks only about five or some years old.

Ana and I walk over and pull up the child's seats that are much too small for us and I need to cramp my legs under the low table.

The little girl stares at us with her sad, murky hazel eyes that are wide as saucers as she curls herself up even smaller in her chair and huddles up against the wall. I feel the familiar shatter of my heart while working here at the sight of her so scared. I can already tell that Ana wants to scoop her up and smother her in a big, warm hug (Ana's a hugger), but I know that's not the way to go because it's obvious that she's afraid of human contact. I stop Ana's hand from reaching out and I try a different approach.

"Hey sweetie..." I greet her as she keeps on backing up into the wall. My heart breaks all over again, _I just want to help her._

"Hey sweetie…" I try again. "Sweetie, can you tell me your name?" I ask as softly as I can while scooting back to give her some space.

Her beautiful hazel eyes clouds with tears as she timidly lifts her head and risks a little peek at us. I give her my encouraging smile.

She studies us closely as we hold our breaths, afraid that the slightest movements might scare her into silence once again.

"Piper…" her voice lets out a little squeak and she chokes on her own tears.

"Piper…" I repeat and beam at her. "what a beautiful name for a beautiful, strong, little girl." I say and slowly reach out my hand. I can tell she's afraid but her face morphs into a look of wonder as I gently wipe away a few stray tears from her eyes and to my surprise, she actually leans into my touch. Her ice pale face is cold against my warm hand.

Ana cuts up her plate of blueberry pancakes into little pieces and pushes it over to Piper. I put some on a fork and hold it up to her. "Piper, sweet pea, do you want to eat something?" I ask and Ana nods.

At this, Piper immediately backs away from my hand, returning to her spot in the corner of the wall. I frown.

Her fiery red hair hangs in distressed strands around her face as she starts to silently sob again, burying her little head in her hands.

"Sweet pea, aren't you hungry?" I ask, very slowly approaching her and before she can protest, scoop her up and place her in Ana's opening arms. I feel her body stiffen but as she looks into Ana's sparkling blue eyes, she relaxes and cuddles into Ana, short legs wrap around Ana's stomach. My assumption was right, she's more afraid of men than girls.

Ana wraps her arms protectively around Piper. "Piper, why don't you want eat? Can you tell me, sweet pea?" Ana asks as she lightly lifts her little chin up with a finger.

Piper shutters in Ana's arm but doesn't say anything. "Promise won't be mad?" She asks in a whispering voice. Ana nods firmly. "Cross my heart and hope to die." She says, marking an X across her chest. I do the same.

"Me bad." She finally chokes out and now Ana's frowning also. "Why are you bad, sweetie? You can tell me. No being mad, remember?" Ana asks, crossing her heart again.

"Daddy says…says…good girls…shouldn't eat much. Piper fat. Piper bad." Piper manages to get out between heart clenching sniffles and Ana hugs her tighter. I gasp, Piper is eight, but looks only five. I stare into her hollow cheekbones and I can see her whole rib cage as she inhales a shaky breath. Her wrists are so tiny that they're only half the length of my pinky finger.

I ball my fist up at this, clenching my jaw shut to suppress my growl. I'm gripping the edge of the chair so hard that I feel like it might crack under my vice which would be surprisingly satisfying. It's just now that I realize Ana's crying along with Piper, tears streaming down her face as she bites her own hand from keeping her choked out sobs in.

"hey, hey, hey…what's wrong?" I ask, wrapping both Piper and Ana into my embrace. Piper stares up at me with her eyes that are almost turning a light shade of brown because of fear. "Why is she so sad?" she whispers in my ear and I kindly smile down at her.

"Ana here is sad because you're everything but bad, ok?" Piper stares at me in disbelief, eyes widening even further. "Can I hug you, sweetie?" I ask because I feel like Ana might throw up at any moment or start to hyperventilate.

Piper tilts her head to the side, studying me intently, and finally gives a small nod. I lift her up and bring her to my chest. I breath in deeply, _ok, Christian, she's just a small, scared child, she can't hurt you, breath in, breath out._ The pain is much more bearable with my shirt protecting me from my own dark past.

My brain scrambles for what to do, I have two crying girls and lord knows I am not good with that. After holding Piper for a whole minute, her sobs that shook her fragile body turns into two trickles of tears sliding onto the floor, although Ana's still struggling. I put Piper down and she stares longingly at the plate of pancakes. I formulate a plan in my head.

"sweet pea? Can you look at me?" I softly order and Piper immediately brings her eyes to meet mine. "Do you think Ana's bad?" I ask, now wrapping my arm around Ana also.

Piper furrows her eyebrows as she concentrates on my question and I need to smile at how cute she looks. She finally (and thankfully) shakes her head firmly in a no.

I feel a face eating grin spread across my face. "Yes, I don't think Ana's bad either. She's a good girl right?" I ask in a way I hope a little kid can understand.

I pinch Ana very subtly to keep her from protesting and Piper let's out a little giggle at Ana's now shocked expression. I smile at her adorable giggle and blow raspberries on her nose which has her laughing all over again.

I continue and cross my fingers, mentally hoping my little tacit would work. "Piper, you see, Ana's a good girl so she eats and not starves herself ok?" I say, motioning for Natalia to bring over another plate of pancakes and give Ana my best dominant glare, telling her she better not even think about not fucking eating, _again._ I know Ana has a problem with food and I have a sneaky suspicion that it has to do with her cruel, first Dom but Ana obediently obeys, almost shoving the pancakes into her mouth, making dramatic motions of chewing and swallowing so Piper can see. Piper lips reach up into a tentative smile and she points to her pancakes and I baby feed her, feeling so damn proud about myself. I got both my girls to eat. _Wow Grey, who said they were yours?_

Ana and I sadly watch Piper who started devouring her pancakes, I had to tell her to slow down several time as she finishes her meal. She's still really weak so we need to have her take a nap. Ana lifts her up into her arms and smiles her pretty smile. Piper smiles back and Ana nuzzles her nose into her soft red curls.

Piper points at a locket that Ana's wearing around her neck. Tiny, silver letters were engraved into the metal plate that read: _Be Strong._ Ana smiles again as she sets Piper down on her new bed with a picture of Bell on it as she undoes the locket and holds it up as it glimmers in the dim afternoon light shining through the window. She fastens the locket around Piper's neck and needs to wrap it around twice because of how large it was on her.

Piper examines the locket with her tiny hands as she twirls it around her finger and Ana crouches down in front of her. "Piper, you're already the strongest girl I know." Ana tells Piper as she presses a gentle kiss to her forehead before tucking the blankets around her and we watch her fall peacefully asleep, hands still clutching the precious locket that probably only cost two bucks at the Target.

 **Ana:**

Christian leads me out of Piper's bedroom and inspects my hand that I was biting on to stop my tears. "Jesus, how hard did you bite yourself…" he mutters as he runs my hand under cold water and I bite my lip. "um…hard?" I guess and Christian shakes his head.

"Why were you crying?" He asks, midnight grey eyes boring into me and I stare down at my feet, feeling tears well up in my eyes again and he gently tilts my head up as he wipes my eyes. How ironic that three months ago it was me helping him.

"You don't have to tell me. I was just wondering." He explains, blowing on my hands to ease away the numbness caused by the cold water.

"I want to." I quickly tell him. If he can share his story with Elena to me then I need to do the same. We go and sit out on the park bench. I try to form coherent words in my head.

"um…you know how I was forced to be Morton's sub?" I start and feel the all too familiar panic seizes me at the thought of this. "I…he once whipped me 20 times…because…I…I…became a size 2…" I explained and I feel the usual tremor in my hand return every time I recall this particular memory, how I was tied up and so helpless. I try not to make my arms shake but seeing Piper not wanting to eat because of the physical and emotional abuse was all too real for me.

"Piper…I…I..." I don't think I am making much sense right now.

"hey, hey, hey." I register Christian's low voice. "You're ok now. I'm right here." He says, embracing me into a hug as I sigh in relief and comfort.

"ok." I whisper and he gives me his shy smile.

Christian starts to divert the subject to a happier place as he jokes about how if he needs to watch Frozen one more time, he's going to smash the TV set.

~*~*~ (later that afternoon)

We wake the kids who are taking a nap, one by one, and both agree that we will wake Piper up together. We enter her room and both gasp at the now empty bed. Christian runs out, asking all of the older kids have any of them seen Piper but they all shake their heads no.

I rip off her covers and start opening up all the cabinets. _Shit, shit, shit_. _Did we scare her?_ I check all the cabinets in her rooms and start checking them over again, this time, even opening drawers. She's so bloody tiny, she can fit into almost any crack or crevices.

Christian rushes back in, "Nobody saw Piper. She must have hidden somewhere when they were all taking a nap but the guards said nobody slipped out so she has to be here somewhere."

"I already checked her room." I say as we start going through this whole place, inch by inch, checking even the tiniest of places.

I was on the verge of tears when we finally opened the storage room closet and there was Piper, all curled up on the floor, knees pressed against her chest as her gorgeous red hair covers most of her back. There's a small puddle of water on the floor as more of her tears join it.

"Sweet pea, what are you doing here?" Christian asks as he crouches down to her level. "I…*sniff*…am…scared…*sniff*…monster…under bed…" Piper sobs out.

"There are no monsters under your bed, you have my promise on that ok?" Christian asks as he tries to reach out and hug her. But she furiously shakes her head and cowards even more into the closet.

"Ok, ok…you don't have to come out. But can I join you?" Christian asks and Piper nods, moving closer into the wall to make space for Christian. If it weren't for my heart breaking into a million pieces, I would find Christian's position comical. The lower shelf of the closet is tall but not too tall, so Christian has to sit and curl himself up into a tight ball with his head and neck craned between his knees which are pressed up against his chest as he, by some miracle, wiggles in.

"Piper, sweet pea, don't be afraid. Ana and I will check underneath your bed for monsters tonight ok?" he asks, voice muffled by his pant legs because he has nowhere else to put his mouth.

"What about crocodiles?" she asks and Christian chuckles; I can see how his grey eyes bunch up by the corners.

"We'll check for crocodiles also." Christian assures her.

"And spiders?" Piper asks, hopeful. Christian gives another little laugh. "And those as well."

"Do you feel better now?" Christian asks. Piper nods her head but shakes it also.

"Ok, sweet pea, what are you still afraid of?" Christian asks and Piper stares at him with big forest green eyes.

"Daddy…I don't like daddy…mommy said he was my daddy…that's what he…told me to call him…but daddy is…is…mean. Me hurt…" Piper gets out and Christian's eye become sadder but also softer.

"Sweet pea, I want you to listen to me ok?" Piper nods, looking up. "I promise you, you're safe. Nobody will ever harm you again, ok?" Christian says and I can hear the venom in his voice as he's obviously wants to destroy whoever did this to an innocent child.

"Will you…you guys…both stay…with me…tonight?" Piper asks, dark hazel eyes turning a lighter pond green as they feel with so much hope.

"Sure, sweetie, whatever you want." I say before my brain can register what the hell I'm saying but I catch Christian smirking at me as I wag my finger at him. "None of that." I clarify and Christian gives me his own adorable grin that matches Piper's.

He turns his attention back to the little girl, "Do you want to come out now? It's kind of cramp in here, yeah?" Christian asks, referring to his obvious discomfort. _How did this guy ever thought he could not be good with kids?_

Piper nods and reaches her arms out for me as I swing her up, causing her to giggle and squeal. Christian carefully unfolds himself as he squeezes out of the closet and I laugh.

That night, after some arranging on Grace's part. We three snuggle up in the guestroom of Christian parent's house that has a queen size bed, Piper in between us and we all fall fast asleep, all three of us _safe and sound._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7-scars**

 **Ana:**

We are having another sleep over with Piper, poor baby, I heard she had a horrible nightmare the other day when I went to work at my club so I told Jose I am going to take some time off as I want her to stay with Christian and me for a while. I know we should not have her getting use to sleeping with someone, but she's too fragile right now and needs the comfort so that issue will have to be addressed at a later time. I snuggle into the soft comforters and Christian gets in with only pajama pants. I quickly turn my head when I saw his bare abs, all tan and muscular. I swear he was smirking when he saw my blush. _Bad Ana! He's just a friend!_ But I also noticed small, round scars that marred his chest. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were burn marks but he never mentioned fire play with Elena.

"Ana?" Piper's small voice jars my thoughts and I smile down at her. Christian has been forcing her to eat, even going as far as making games with food so she would eat throughout the day as well-like trying to catch grapes in their mouths. I laugh at the memory of Christian not even catching one grape after 20 tries and how he played it off as he just wanted Piper to "win".

"Yes, sweet pea?" I use our special nick name for her, petting her gorgeously fierce red hair that turned the beautiful color after several baths and her little cheeks are also gaining a rosy color to them instead of the unhealthy sheet white skin.

"Do you have a daddy like uncle Carrick?" she asks innocently and I feel Christian immediately tense as he knows this is a sensitive subject for me but I give him a reassuring smile.

"yes, sweet pea, I do." I answer.

"Is he nice like uncle Carrick? Is my daddy the only mean daddy?" she asks, biting her lip just like me as I sigh.

"Sweet pea, the guy that did _that_ to you is not your real dad ok? I mean, he might be related to you, but real dads are very loving, just like uncle Carrick ok?" I ask and Piper blinks up at me.

"What's your dad like?" she asks, _oh kids and their never ending questions._

I smile. "My real dad is named Ray, he's very nice and sweet. Maybe I can have him visit sometime, I'm sure he'll love you just as much as we do." Ray sounds like a good idea, I miss him.

"Ok." Piper agrees, yawning as she wiggles her toes and Christian kisses her goodnight. I swear, _he's the biggest teddy bear._

I toss and turn at night, unable to find sleep, my past haunting me. I decide to get up to get some warm milk to help calm my nerves. I cast one more lingering look at Christian sleeping peacefully as he hugs his pillow, his brows furrowing occasionally, and Piper who is sprawled out beside him as I slip out of the room. I sip my milk, allowing the silky, smooth liquid to glide down my throat, feeling it drip into my empty stomach. I sigh, I should eat more, I know, it's just a hard habit to break, _Thanks to Morton, he made sure I will always be "healthy" as he puts it for the rest of my life._ Although I have to say, Christian is doing a pretty good job at making me eat. Why is he so concerned about feeding everyone? He does the same to Mia. _That boy will forever perplex me._

I have gotten very close to the Greys. I don't really have family in Seattle, Ray and Carla are both back in Georgia and most of my friends have left Seattle. They became my home away from home and I haven't been going to my club, not that I really do anything there, I just make sure nobody's getting hurt but Jose can easily do that job. I don't know, it's just with the Greys, I feel… _normal_ and it's a feeling I welcome with open arms.

A loud scream tears through the silent night and I jump, my thoughts all broken as I rush towards our room. Piper is huddled in the corner of the room, wide hazel eyes staring at Christian who is now thrashing around in his covers, a sheet of sweat coats his body as he fights a war with his tangled up sheets and his copper hair is matted to his face and he lets out another scream that's so anguished it crumbles my heart. I scoop Piper up in my arms as she's now clearly terrified. I don't know what to do. Do I try to wake him or…what about Piper? Thankfully, Elliot comes sprinting in, panting.

"shit, shit, shit, Chris and his nightmares…" he mutters, going to Christian's side and somehow manages to grab on to his twisting shoulders and start to gently shake him.

"Christian! It's me little bro. You're safe. Hey!" Elliot actually needs to yell and Christian startles up, frantic grey eyes scanning around the room as he pants, his chest heaving up and down and I think he's having a hard time sucking in a deep breath.

"Christian?" I ask quietly and he snaps out. "sorry…" is all he says. I shake my head, coming to his side. "you have nothing to be sorry about. It was a nightmare." I calm, cautiously scooting over to him and he flops back on the bed.

"Hey Peter Piper, how about you stay with me tonight, little tot?" Elliot asks Piper and she timidly nods as he hoists her into his arms and gives me one last worried glance while muttering something about how he's going to explain a child to Kate.

"You ok?" I ask after they leave the room and curl myself beside Christian who sighs.

"Ana, there's a lot you don't know about me. I'm fifty shades fucked up." He mutters and I tentatively brush some of his sweaty hair away from his face.

"Well then, enlighten me." I try joking and I think I catch a glint of a smile.

"My birth mom…had pimps…" he tries and his confession startles me. I know he was adopted but I never thought about what his life was like before the Greys.

"They burned and beat me…and she…she just watched." He sighs and I gasp, tears filling my eyes. Christian continues. "I…was four." Now my tears are past the point of no return.

"Are your scars…?" I whisper, my voice so small that I don't think he can hear but he does.

"are cigarette burns." He confirms my unanswered question.

"They took four days to find us when she finally overdosed." He says and I see a little boy, all dirty and coppered hair with big, wide grey eyes full of fear as the burning fire seals his skin, forever letting its presence be known.

"Hey, don't cry…I don't want pity. I'm fine now." He says and I want to roll my eyes because that nightmare screams anything but fine.

 **Christian:**

Ana brings me into a hug as she sobs on my shoulder, I am not even sure who's the one that's providing comfort anymore, but that's not what matter. Ana, with her big, warm smile and sparkling blue eyes, has slipped and engraved herself into my dark life, shinning her lone light in the perpetual night that was my life.

She sniffs one last time. "I want to show you something…" she gets out and turns around so her back is facing me, the only protection against it is her thin PJ white cotton shirt. My brain draws blank, what is she doing?

"Lift up my shirt." She commands.

"I…um...are you…sure…I….is…this a good…idea?" I stammer. Ana rolls her eyes. "It's ok Christian, just do it."

I gingerly peel up her shirt, revealing her smooth back with white alabaster skin. Ana cups her own boobs with her hand and I smile at her modesty, although I'm really not looking at them. When her whole back is in sight, t-shirt bunched up by her shoulder, I feel by own breath wheeze. Down the center of her back is a scar, painfully splitting her perfect skin open. The gash is about half an inch wide and half a foot long. Its edges are frayed and almost a mulberry purple color with the still white gash in the middle.

I gasp, "Ana…what…how…"

With her back still facing me. "The belt was Morton's favorite thing…he used the side with the buckle once." She calmly explains and I wonder how she can still be so happy despite _everything…_ I secretly swore to myself, one day, I will have Morton's head on a fucking _silver platter. How fucking dare he?_

But beside her wound, crawling up her back is a tattoo. It's of a flower vine, the leaves and twigs curling around her scar with the occasional blossom. The flowers range in color from daffodil yellow to a midnight blue. Without thinking, l let my finger absentmindedly trace the curves and twist of the flower petals, trailing my hand all the way from her shoulder blade where the top pedal lies to the very bottom of her back as the last leave wraps around itself. I notice how the tattoo was designed around her scar, seemingly protecting it, almost trying to blend the painful slash into their hidden vines.

"Your tattoo is beautiful…" I manage to get out in my scratchy throat. Ana gives a little smile. "Why thank you…" she says wryly and I can tell in her voice that she doesn't believe me.

"No…no, no…I mean it." I assure and my words couldn't be truer.

I let my finger brush over it one more time and Ana turns to face me again, letting her shirt fall back in place. "I don't want pity either." She states and I swallow.

"I am not pitying you." I say and the familiar smile returns to Ana's face.

She continues. "Can I have a hug?" she asks and I gladly scoot over, our arms interlacing with one another as we both wrap each other, along with all of our scars and hurt, into each other's heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **1st Part-As the year past**

 **(during the 5 years Christian went to college and started GEH)-this part is sort of a summary and the next chapter picks up 5 years later from Chapter 7**

Narrator POV:

As the year passed, Ana and Christian grew closer and closer but before time could stop and wait, Christian was heading off to college. He had gotten into Harvard and nothing in the world could change Carrick's proud smile. Grace has also started the adoption process for Piper. Both Ana and Christian adored Piper and the little girl blossomed under the Grey and Ana's care. The familiar red, fiery ball of energy running and giggling around the kitchen became their new background and Ana found herself spending less and less time in her club as she stayed with the Greys so much that they secretly adopted her as well.

The day Christian went to college, he embraced Ana into a huge bear hug, lifting her off her feet.  
"Be a good girl for me, yeah?" He teased, grey eyes crinkling in the sun. Ana stuck her tongue out at him, use to their usual joking. They both knew that they wouldn't end up together as Christian expressed interest in being a Dom himself and Ana found some classes that he could take as she was sure Elena didn't teach him the right way, but that did not stop their banter and it was obvious for the world to see that their bond was something special.

"What are you talking about? I'm always good." Ana mocks and Christian pats her back lightly but his expression becomes serious once again. "Ana, you know how I feel about you not eating, please promise me you'll eat." He urges, grey eyes searching her and she twiddles with her thumbs. "I'll try." She finally promises and his returning smile was so bright that she found herself never wanting him to leave.

And then Christian was gone. One moment, he was chasing Piper and Ana around the house, the next, _poof_ , all traces of him vanished into thin air. He became busy with college and after he dropped out, work. Ana occasionally kept up with the magazines, quietly watching from the sideline as his company grew bigger and better. She was proud of him, needless to say, he went from the scared, abused boy in her club to the most feared shark in the business world in a matter of years. People often talked about how his success was overnight but only Ana knew the long hours he spent working. He hardly visited his family or her and Ana found herself staring longingly at the front door, thinking that he'll magically walk through one day, although she knew he was much too busy ( _and plus why would he want to visit her?_ ) Ana couldn't fault him for abandoning them, his company needed him and created millions of jobs for the local people so Ana stored away all of her selfish desires of being able to hold him in her arms once more.

Grace also missed Christian terribly but she never showed it, just the occasional sigh at his empty seat during dinner.

"Mama Grace?" Piper asks, hazel eyes peeking up. She has grown up into a beautiful girl with long,  
fierce, red hair that would cause anyone to be jealous and had freckles sprinkled across her nose that made her look positively adorable.

"Yes dear?" Grace replies.

"When is Chris coming home?" She asks innocently. She missed him so much, he was the one that brought her out of her little shell. She wanted to feel her big brother hoist her up by the waist and swing her around until they both weren't able to stand straight again.

"Oh Piper, he's very busy." _As always_. Grace explains with a sad smile.

Ana has also changed her job. She decided forensic science wasn't her thing anymore. She had seen too many dead bodies and broken hearts to last a life time and she couldn't bring herself to face the tragedy of this world every single day so she went into her dream career-publishing.

There was just one thing that perplexed her, the very first job she applied to accepted her immediately which she found strange because it's not like she had experience or anything and she only had a minor in literature from college so her expectations weren't too high but she got it none the less.

 **2nd Part-What is it about elevators?**

 **Skip 5 years from chapter 7. Christian is 22 and Ana is 27, Piper is 13.**

Christian:

New York, the big apple, I always liked this city. So much energy, people, and life but I don't have it in me to do sightseeing tonight despite the Christmas lights illuminating the city. Work is taking a toll on me, I haven't slept for two days straight and flew from China just to attend another meeting here. Now, I finally have some time to myself. I should text my mother, I don't nearly appreciate my family and Ana enough, but GEH is just starting out and the first few years are always the toughest. I am glad Ana has a new job in publishing, I would never tell her but I arranged the position in SIP for her. I don't think she can find a job otherwise and I know how much she loves books. I am just glad she's away from all that crime shit, what was she thinking in college?

Sawyer, the security Ana fired in her club but I rehired him for my own (I always felt bad that he lost his job because of Elena), drives the car up.

"Where to, Sir?" _Ah, polite as always_. The poor guy tried to apologize several times for ever allowing Elena in Ana's club but I heard none of it and assured him that I knew Elena can be very manipulative and he has proven to be a stellar employee.

I rub my eyes. "Sheraton Hotel." I just want to sleep for 24 hours straight but who am I kidding, I still  
have nightmares.

Soon we're pulling up to the Sheraton and I walk into the lobby with a sparkling chandelier adorning the ceiling.

"So you guys don't have any other rooms here tonight?"

I stop dead in my tracks, that voice can only belong to one person.

"No miss. I'm sorry." I hear the hotel lobbyist say.

I quicken my steps and Ana comes into my sight, dressed in black leggings that shows off her lean legs and a denim jacket with a scarf wrapped around her.

She looks worried, still trying to ask the hotel manager if they are sure they don't have any more rooms tonight.

I smirk and walk up behind her, retrieving my Sheraton card.

"Ms. Steele will be staying with me tonight." I say as my arm snakes around Ana's waist. She jumps at my touch, blue eyes startling up at me.

"Christian! What are you doing here!?" She exclaims, pinching me.

"Saving your ass because someone obviously forgot to book her hotel during Christmas time in New York." I give her my best goofy grin and she tries to look offended.

"Mr. Grey. Are you sure about this?" The hotel manager with her pinched in face and too-high brown bun asks.

"Yes, is there a problem?" I snap.

"Um, I just wanted to inform you that your suite only has one...um...bedroom." She stutters.

I roll my eyes. "Ms..." I look at her name tag. "Pluck." I announce. "Do we look like teenagers to you?" I hiss through my teeth and can see Ana trying to suppress her giggle at Ms. Pluck's facial expression.

"Um...no... of course not." She quickly addresses her mistake and hands me two hotel cards. I smile my panting dropping smile at Ana who's still trying not to laugh.

"Shall we, Ms. Steele?" I ask and hold out my arm.

"We shall, Mr. Grey." Anastasia beams back at me and I walk her to the elevator.

In the elevator, I look her over and she squirms under my gaze but relaxes once I smile. "I did not expect to see you here." I confess and I think I catch a glimpse of the rosy color creeping up her cheeks.

"Yeah, I didn't realize how busy New York was during this time. I couldn't find a hotel. Thank you for you know..." She trails off and looks at the ground.

I tip her chin up. "You're very welcome, Anastasia." I say and now I am positive she's blushing. Is it just me or does this elevator seem to be getting smaller?

She looks up again and I see the familiar twinkle in her arctic blue eyes. "I missed you." She whispers.

I open my arms. "I missed you too." I say as she snuggles in my hug and I sigh in contentment. This feels good, I haven't had Ana in my arms forever. She gives the best hugs, leaving you feeling all happy and warm.

She looks up at me and now she's frowning. "What?" I ask as she continues to frown.

"Your eyes, when was the last time you slept?" She accuses. I rub my face. "Um, two days ago."

Ana sighs. "Nightmares?" She asks and I nod. I could never hide anything from her.

"Come on, sleepy pants, let's get you to bed." Ana says, dragging me into _my_ hotel room and shoving me into the shower while tossing towels and what not onto the racks. I smirk, _bossy as ever, I guess Ana still has her Dom persona._

I shower, allowing the hot water to gush over my body and slip on my PJ that Ana threw through the door. _Wait, did she go through my luggage to get those?_

I step out and Ana has also changed into a white cotton t-shirt. I pick up her denim jacket on the floor. "What ever happened to leather?" I ask. That was always Ana's look-jeans with leather jackets.

"Oh, I wanted something different." She shrugs as the soft duvets swallow me up and Ana gets in on the other side.

Without thinking, I reach over and grab her, pulling her against me. She stiffens at first but then settles down, occasionally stirring under the covers.

"Good night." She whispers but I am already half way in la la land.

~*~*~ (morning)

I feel the sun's warm rays shining through the hotel blinds and groan, pulling the other pillow over my head and fall back asleep. I wake up later, finding the other side of the bed empty and rapidly blink my eyes. My skin is warm from bathing in the sun and I feel my stomach grumble. "What the hell..." I mutter, sitting up. How fucking long did I sleep?

I see Ana smirking at me. "Someone's awake." She observes as she tosses me some clothes and I continue to grumble, trudging my way to the bathroom.

"Holy shit. It's three in the afternoon, I slept like 15 hours. Why didn't you wake me?" I accuse as I get out.

Ana gives me her best no-bull-shit look. "Christian, really, if you think I was going to wake you after you didn't sleep for two days then you seriously misjudged me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I mumble. _I know, I should take better care of myself._

Ana comes in front of me. "Promise me you'll sleep more. If you continue like this, you'll have a heart attack and topple over at age 30 and I know for a fact that Piper wouldn't like that so please take care of yourself?" She pleads and I feel guilt stab me. The last time I saw Piper was last Christmas, my baby girl.

"ok, ok." I resign as I promise her I'll try to sleep more. What I didn't say is I always and only slept well with her by my side.

"Come on, we're going to eat. You're still too skinny" I announce, dragging Ana to the hotel restaurant.

The dim afternoon light shone through the large, open window as we ate a delicious steak dinner, and we started talking. People came and went in the restaurant and the waiter refilled our wine glasses for the fourth time. Outside our bubble, the lights of New York City started to light up one by one as we continued to talk into the night and my worries faded away at Ana's constant giggles. We talked about everything and anything-from our jobs to the latest movie and everything in between that but we both carefully skidded around the topic of BDSM. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed this hard and I am sure people found it ridiculous that I, Christian Grey, would be laughing and slapping his knee at this five-star hotel. Nobody, except for Ana, can make me do that. Nobody can make me be me.

Ana glances down at her watch. "oh my gosh! It's eleven thirty-seven!" she exclaims and her blue eyes gleamed against the backdrop that was New York City as the city lights fought for the final spotlight, and I realized that the lone spotlight would only and ever belong to Ana. New York City didn't stand a chance against the flash of her pretty smile.

I swear she can see right through me as she gazes into my soul, the sparkle never leaving her eye and perhaps it was the wine, or maybe you can blame it on the setting sun, but I had the urge to kiss her right there and then. I quickly shake the thought out of my head. _What are you thinking, Grey? Like Ana would ever be your submissive, get your head out of your ass!_ But a little voice whispers in my ear once again: " _she doesn't have to be your submissive, you can ask her to date you…"_ I internally kick myself. _Get a hold on yourself! You don't do dating, remember?_

I pay for our meal despite Ana's protest, but she finally and reluctantly agreed. We stand and wait for the elevator and I glance over only to catch Ana giggling at me even though she's trying hard to keep her lips in a straight line.

"Is my face amusing you?" I ask, raising a single eyebrow.

"Um…no…I don't even know why I'm laughing." She confesses. I gently pat her back. "I love your laugh." I say and she beams back at me even though she's now blushing like mad. _Huh, I never toke Ana as a shy one._

We get in the elevator and I feel my heart rate pick up as I sucked in a deep breath. There's an unknown electricity pulsing through the small space between us, the tension sliceable by a knife. I peek over and Ana biting that lip of hers. _Fuck, my brain is messing with me again._

Ana looks at my burning gaze but immediately turns her head but it's already too late, she has woken the beast.

"Fuck this." I say as my lips attack her.

I didn't give her time to react as our bodies flush together. I thought she was going to be dominating considering…but her lips tasted soft and smooth against mine. I gently press my tongue by her lips, asking for permission and she slightly parts them, handing over all the control. As the elevator continues upward, she got braver and very lightly bit my lip and I growl my approval, grinding into her as I feel myself grow.

I can feel Ana's body surrendering to me as I grab her hands and push her against the wall as her legs wrap around me and I don't bother breaking our kiss as I carefully lay her down on our bed…


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9-Vanilla or BDSM?**

Ana:

I wrap my legs around Christian in the elevator and feel myself being hoisted in the air as he walks the short distance from the elevator to the bed, never breaking our kiss.

Christian gently lays me on our hotel bed. "Do you want to do this?" he asks, grey eyes searching me as he press another gentle kiss to my lips.

"Yes, please…" I beg, my body already craving for release.

Christian carefully pulls my legging off and softly kiss each foot when each pant leg came off. He hooks his fingers in my panties and tug those off as well. I watch his deft hands work their way down my buttoned shirt as he discards it on the floor.

"Turn around." He softly commands and I obey. He unclasps my bra and I feel his kisses, as light as a butterfly, start by my shoulder as he trails them down my back.

"You have no idea how long I wanted to do this for…" he mutters and I feel him kiss my tattoo, starting at the top flower that is a daffodil yellow as he trails his mouth down. He pauses at my scar and I tense.

"Oh, baby…" I hear him say and he kisses that as well, lingering a little bit longer. _Did he just call me baby?_ His warm lips graze over my scar as if he's trying to take all the pain and hurt between his parted mouth.

I am dripping wet down there and I feel my body mewing for release. I turn myself around. "Please…Christian…" I am on the verge of begging.

"Shhh…it's ok, I got you." He coos as I lay down and he chucks all of his clothes as his large frame looms over me.

"You sure about this?" he checks once again and I want to scream. "Just shut up and fuck me already." But I nod as he aligns himself up.

"Hold on to my shoulder." He orders and I obey, knowing that he can't stand to be touched on his chest. He slips one finger between my folds and smirks.

"eager are we?" he asks, grey eyes sparkling and I buck my hips. He enters me in one swift motion.

"Ahhh~" I moan and he picks up the pace, pounding into me and I start to meet his thrust.

"Fuckkkkkk…Ana, I'm…not…going…to…lastttt." He grits as we both tip over the edge, our orgasm consuming us and I feel myself tightening around him as the waves wash over us.

Christian pulls out and I reach over, pulling our bodies together. "Sleep, baby…" I hear him whisper. _Ok, I definitely didn't imagine him calling me baby that time._

I fall asleep to my pounding heart and sweaty body as I snuggle into Christian.

Christian:

I wake up and pet the mass of brunette hair besides me. I watch Ana's chest rise up and down steadily as she breaths in, her chestnut hair flowing outwards and her long eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks. "Wake up." I gently nudge her with my nose.

"Hmmm. Five more minutes." She mutters, making grabby hands towards me and finally settling back down after I crawled back in.

I watch her blue eyes flutter open and grin so hard that my cheeks actually hurt. "Good morning beautiful." I say and Ana smiles back.

"Hi yourself."

She walks to the shower in all of her naked after glory and comes back out with freshly showered hair and a long white t-shirt.

She's trying to act nonchalant, casually tossing around clothes but I can tell she's secretly nervous. I get up and circle her in my arms. She squirms but I squeeze harder.

"Hey, hey, hey, What's wrong?" I ask and see the cute blush that I've been missing creep back on.

Ana starts to stutter although I have never heard her stutter before. "I…um…that…what…we…" she anxiously shifts her weight.

"We should probably talk. I'll order breakfast." I say and gently pat her butt, watching her face flame up. _How the fuck can she be this adorable?_

Breakfast comes and I set out two trays of food and crawl in bed, sitting cross legged across from Ana. For some reason, she keeps on avoiding my gaze and I don't know why.

I tip her chin up with a finger before she has time to advert her eyes. "Ana, tell me what's wrong." I demand and she flushes. "Um…where does…this…leaves us?" She asks and I give her a soft squeeze of her hand.

"That's what we're going to figure out." I tell her and see her relax exponentially.

"What are you thinking?" I ask and shift closer to her.

"Um…that was my first…time…with…vanilla." She stutters. _Ah,_ _so that's why she's acting this adorable._

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on." I say. "First time vanilla?" I ask and she nods in confirmation.

"Didn't you ever have a high school sweet heart or something?" I ask, surely she's dated someone outside the BDSM circle, even if it's after she got away from that Morton fucker.

"Um, no…I only ever had three partners." _Wow, did she say 3?_

"Which ones?" I ask and she looks down.

"Um, Morton." She answers and I can hear the bitterness in her voice as I bawl up my fists. "Noah, the guy who taught me to be a Dom and I also had a short term sub."

"That's it?" I stare at her in shock.

She blushes again. "um, yeah. How many did you have?"

I sigh. "Um, I had Elena obviously and I had three long term subs over the course of college and work and I had couple of one night stands." I confess as Ana's eyes widen.

"Oh." Her voice is a small whisper. Awkward silence settles over us and she finally peeks up at me and I give her an encouraging smile.

"Were the one night stands regular or…or…vanilla?" She asks. I smile at her question.

"They were mostly in clubs but no they were all in the context of BDSM. I don't do vanilla, you know this, yesterday was a first for me too." I say and wink, watching her as she fiddles with her thumbs.

"Do…do…you…want vanilla with me?" she asks, slightly blushing as she looks up at me.

I hold out my arms. "What do you want?" I ask as she curls herself up in me.

"Um…I don't know…" she whispers, staring down at our messed up duvets. I can tell she has more to say so I wait patiently.

"I…I…don't really…do…vanilla…" she starts. I wait. "But…I don't want…BDSM…to ruin…what…what…we have..." She says and I smile a very genuine smile.

"Me neither, Ana, me neither." I assure her.

"So…what do we do?" she asks, slightly biting her lip and I feel myself grow again at the gesture, _How the Fuck is that possible?_

"Well, I was thinking." I pause. I don't think I can commit to a full vanilla relationship. Those require love and I'm not lovable, but for Ana I can try a half and half. I value what I have with her and I don't think she can truly be my submissive nor can I truly view her as a submissive. _Ana is much, much more than that._

"We can do vanilla during the majority of the week, and let's say Saturday, we can do kinky fuckery." I smile my big, goofy grin at her.

Ana starts laughing, bending over in my arms as I wrap them tightly around her, falling back down on the bed. "Kinky Fuckery…?" she asks, blue eyes glistening up at me.

"Yeah, why not?" I ask, shrugging although I know we still have a lot to talk about.

Ana looks down again. "Um…would it be like…just…playing around…or would…other stuff apply?" And I know she's talking about punishments.

"Well, what do you want?" I ask. _This is about Ana and what she feels safe with; she definitely didn't have a great experience being a sub so I will do whatever she feels comfortable with._

"I…I…don't know…" she tells the truth.

"Well, do you want Vanilla?" I ask.

"Um…I guess…I don't know how that works…though…BDSM is all I've ever known…" She gets out in a small voice as I rub circles on her back, hoping to comfort her.

"It's all I've ever known also, but I'm sure we'll figure it out." I assure her and she bites her lips, contemplating.

"I think I can agree with that." She says and I beam back at her. _Now, where should I take her on our first date?_

Ana continues. "But…would I be…your sub…on Saturday?" she asks.

I gently squeeze her shoulder. "Yes, or I can be yours, if you want." I offer, _I can trust Ana not to hurt me._

Ana immediately shakes her head. "I don't think I can see you as a sub." She tells me and I peck her on the cheek.

"Ok, well, do you want any form of kinky Fuckery on Saturday?" I ask and see Ana blush. _I guess she does like some of that stuff._ She quietly nods.

"Would…I…need to follow any rules?" she asks and I carefully consider this. _I don't want Ana to be a certain way; I want Ana to be Ana._

"Well I usually have quite a list but did you have your sub follow any?" I ask and Ana nods, finally becoming more at ease.

"Yes, but I really only had one rule. I just asked him to not put himself under direct contact of danger. I don't really care for the whole not rolling your eyes at me or calling me mam part." She says. _Ana probably was an amazing Dom._

"Well, what if the same rule applied to you?" I ask. Ana is definitely not a reckless one so this way I can still be her Dom on Saturday and never have to punish her, although I usually like that part, but I would never, _never_ want to cause Ana any type of pain.

"So that would be…the only rule…I'd have to follow during the week?" she asks. I nod. "But…" I pause, there's something else on my mind. I continue. "even though this doesn't go directly under this rule, but Ana, you are way too skinny and I consider not eating quite dangerous, don't think that I haven't noticed how much weight you lost. I could see your whole rib cage last night and that's not healthy. So, I would also like you to eat 3 meals a day." I say and watch for her reaction. My subs all had to follow a strict list of prescribed food but all I want for Ana is for her to not be underweight.

I can tell she wants to argue and it's ultimately her say but she will not starve herself. _Not under my watch._ I don't plan on ever actually punishing her and I know I am using an empty threat but I want Ana to eat.

"But…I…do…eat." She protests as I raise a skeptical eyebrow. She finally gives up after a minute under my hard stare, "ok, ok, ok…I will eat three meals a day, not a lot, but I promise to eat three times, _happy_?" she sasses and I break out into a smile at her tone. _There's my girl._

"If you follow my rule, do you have any that you want me to follow?" I ask, I want this relationship to be as equal as possible. I want this to be about Ana too.

I can sense the wheels turning in her head as she considers this. "I…well…" she stammers.

"It's ok, baby." I assure her. "What do you want?"

She stares down at our somehow interlaced hands. "I…your family misses you Christian. Maybe you can visit them more?" she questions.

I feel guilt pinch me, hard. "They hate me." I whisper and Ana frowns.

"That's bullshit Christian and you know it." she states, using her dominatrix voice with me, which is pretty good may I add.

"Ana." I try to reason with her. "They are all perfect and look at me. I have caused them enough trouble and heartache for a lifetime. It's better for me to stay away. I don't deserve them, not after what I did." I say, staring down at the floor, ashamed.

"And what exactly did you do?" Ana challenges me and answers her own question before I can. "You fell victim to a child molester, you have an unhealthy sense of self-loathing, you are afraid to hurt your family, but you never did anything wrong, Christian. Why can't you see this? What do I need to do to make you see that you are worthy, worthy of everybody's care?" Ana ask, her voice pleading.

Her blue eyes are so earnest that I can't find it in me to disagree with her so I nod instead.

"You're coming home every Sunday. That's my condition." She says, crossing her arms and she looks like the stubborn girl that I know lives inside of her.

"Ok, deal." I say as Ana wiggles onto my lap and I softly squeeze her butt.

"Again?" she asks, blue eyes dancing in the morning sun.

I wake up several hours later after our fuck-a-thon with Ana's head on my forearm. I smile and nuzzle my head in her silky locks before reaching over and grabbing my laptop, quietly working besides her sleeping self. I pull up my usual submissive contract and start making changes. I know we still haven't discussed soft and hard limits, but I secretly cross off all the painful implements-canes, whips, belts. After I'm done, I lightly kiss her forehead. I'll be damned if I ever hurt Ana.

Looking out at New York's busy street, I start planning our first date…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ana:

I come back from a meeting with an author I came to see in New York. Christian is waiting for me outside the hotel building. "Good evening, beautiful." He greets, wrapping me in his strong arms as he plants a firm kiss on my lips.

"Good evening to you too, handsome." I smile back.

"Where are we going?" I ask as Christian drives us down New York's bustling streets, stopping every few seconds because of traffic.

"You'll see." He chuckles.

"But I want to knowww~." I whine.

"Trust me?" he asks and I knew I lost. "Fine, whatever." I sass, slumping back down on my seat.

We drive up to a magnificent building that pierces through the sky. "Come, our restaurant is on the 72nd floor." He says and I allow myself to be led in, gazing at the thousand-piece chandelier in the center of the ceiling.

The elevator whisks us up and I feel my ears pop from the pressure decreasing. The tension is palpable and I swat Christian's hand away when he tried to not so secretly squeeze my ass.

"Stop, we're in public!" I mock scold and Christian gives me his wide grin, looking like a 5-year-old boy that found Disney land.

We exit onto a polished, marble floor. "You're taking me to a sushi restaurant?" I question, staring apprehensively at the sign before me with a picture of a white-rice roll.

"Yes, it's very good. Now, come." Christian says, practically moving me inside the restaurant. _Who likes raw fish?_

"Christian. I don't like raw meat or fish for that matter." I complain as I scan over the menu.

"They have other food here. You can just try a bit of mine. I came here mostly because of the view." He says, pointing out at New York's vast skyline. Thousands of lights twirl around in the night underneath us as my vision stretches over the horizon. We're so high up that you can barely see the cars honking and beeping in the crowded streets.

"It's beautiful." I say, pressing my nose against the window and Christian chuckles.

"Glad you like it. This is one of my favorite places in New York." He says. I order steak for me and Christian orders some weird sushi platter.

I still can't take my eyes off the view until our food comes. "You want to try some?" Christian asks, dipping his raw piece of salmon in soy sauce and holding it up to my mouth.

I stare at the innocuous looking piece of meat before me. I don't like any raw food to be honest and the unique, seaweed smell of sushi just repels me. I look back at Christian and then back at the sushi, contemplating. I sniff it once more.

"How can this possibly be good?" I ask, scrunching up my nose.

"I think you'll like it. Just try it, I am not giving you poison." Christian jokes and I nibble at it.

I let the flavor sink into my mouth. It tastes salty, almost smoked. The smooth substance gliding down my throat.

"It's surprisingly not horrible." I say as I snatch the rest of the piece from Christian's plate and swallow the funny fish.

"Told ya." Christian beams at me.

After supper (where I ate three more pieces of sushi, making Christian crazy proud), we head to Central Park for a walk, the dusky night settling around us but the park is still busy with Pedestrians.

I stare down at our interlaced hands and feel butterflies erupt in my stomach, why am I so giddy? _Focus Ana._ I notice Sawyer and some other security guy working to keep the paparazzi out of sight, but I could care less about what they think.

We wonder around aimlessly, greedily taking in the little bit of fresh air provided by the thick oak trees in the park, their bare branches stretching a net over us. I am snug, tucked protectively in Christian's warm jacket because he insisted he wasn't cold although the wind is still howling in the distance.

By a street lamp, there's a crowd gathered around. We head over to investigate. The warm light casts a dim glow over a couple singing Christmas songs, the small crowd slightly rocking from side to side as the joyful beat of the music continues on.

A little girl (probably around 6) with bright blonde hair in a black beanie dances in circles around the signing couple, running straight into Christian.

"I'm sorry." She says, catching herself before she trips over her own two feet.

"it's alright, sweetie." Christian assures her.

"Will you guys dance with me?" she asks, blue eyes blinking up at me. Her mom tried to pull her away but I tell her she's no bother.

At this time. The soothing voice of the woman singer comes on, traveling through the frosty, winter night.

"I really can't stay."

The man's husky and smooth voice complements hers. "But baby it's cold outside."

"I've got to go away." –"But baby it's cold outside."

The crowd claps as the little girl pulls me into the open center as I twirl her around and motion for Christian to come join me, who stands awkwardly there, not knowing how to act.

The street performers seem unbothered by Christian's reluctance as they subtly shift themselves so he's in the middle with me, their voices never stopping.

Christian loosens up and twirls me around, both of us wrapped warm in each other hands and for a second, it's just us, Ana and Christian. There's no little girl, no security, no crowd, just me and him.

There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life long sorrow  
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died  
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out  
Ah, but it's cold outside  
Oh, baby, it's cold outside  
Oh, baby, it's cold outside

Christian finally dips me down at the end of the song, my scarf and jacket falling half off in our haze of dancing. The crowd erupts in light clapping and we dramatically bow.

"Thank you for the dance, Mr. Grey." I mock as we walk away.

"The pleasure was all mine, Mrs. Steele." Christian grins back and we go back to our hotel. Tomorrow we're heading back to Seattle.

Christian:

Ana wiggles on my lap and I lightly kiss her forehead. We are heading home today and I am finally forced to face my family who I somehow managed to hurt, _again._

I know they all love Ana and she's practically their own daughter so she is completely relaxed and at ease. We're going to break the news to them, well, by that, I mean Ana is. I remember asking her opinion on the subject and how she simply rolled her eyes and said she'll do it.

We drive up to my parent's house. The stone-brick mansion stands the same against Seattle's gloomy skyline.

Ana knocks on the door before lulling my ass in. Mia squeals when she sees me. "Ana! You brought him home!" she jumps, already pulling me into a tight hug. Elliot comes strolling in with his arm slung around Kate. _How is she still here?_ Ana goes to hug Kate as Elliot slaps me on the shoulder.

"Welcome back, stranger." He jokes and I cringe, feeling the guilt stabbing me. _How can I continue to fuck up?_

My mom walks in with Carrick, who I can tell is displeased with me by how his green eyes dart away, he gives me the routine, stiff hug he has been doing for the past few years.

"Long time no see." He mutters and I can sense the obvious distaste in his voice. He has every right to be mad, I keep on hurting everyone, especially Grace.

"Dad. I'm sorry." I apologize for everything I've done, from dropping out to abandoning them. Carrick seems momentarily shocked by my confession. I am certainly not known for my apologies. I go and embrace him in a side man hug but he surprises me when he pulls me in, slapping me on the back like Elliot would and I know I am forgiven.

"Where's Piper?" I ask, craning my neck around to see if I can spot the red ball of hair. Grace sighs. "She's…um…quite upset." She explains.

"Why is she upset?" I question. Piper was always giggling, very few things could ever keep her down. Grace shoots me a look and I want to punch myself for my stupidity and selfishness. _Right, she's mad at you. Did you have to distance even her?_

"You should go check on her." Ana nudges me. I take the steps two at a time to the top floor where her bedroom lies.

"Piper?" I shout through the door. No answer.

"sweet pea?" even her childhood nickname is not working any more.

"Piper. Can you open the door? Can I see you?" I ask, knocking rather loudly.

"Piper. I know you're in there." I call again.

"Go away!" she finally shouts and I can tell she's been crying. _God, do you have to be such an ass, Grey?_

Ana quietly approaches me from behind, rubbing my shoulders. "She'll come around. She just needs some time." Ana kisses me on the cheek.

"How did you come around? How can you continue to forgive me?" I ask, staring down at Ana's fingers holding my hands.

"You know I am pretty pissed at you but it won't do any of us any good if we all held grudges. I'll just let you make it up to me in another way." Ana winks, purposefully biting that full bottom lip. _Fuck, she knows exactly what she's doing._

But we don't have time for this as Piper is still really upset and we're in my parent's house. Ana moves to the door. "Piper, sweet pea. It's me, Ana, can you open your door? Pretty please?" Ana asks but Piper doesn't make a move.

Ana sighs as she grabs the key on top of the wooden door frame. "You stay here." She tells me as she slips in the lock and cracks the door open. Piper is slumped by the window, her long, red hair drapes all the way down to her butt. _It's gotten even longer since last time._ She's hugging the teddy bear I gave her from last Christmas as she stares out at the dark night.

"Sweet pea, you have a visitor." Ana tells her and Piper chucks her teddy bear in my direction. "I don't want to see him." She says, crossing her arms.

"Piper, can we talk about this? I know what I did was wrong, ok? I just want to say I'm sorry and give you a hug, ok?" I plead, already trying to move further into the room but Ana stops me.

Piper all the sudden stands up, hazel eyes burning bright against the full moon gleaming outside her window. She's already 13, I can't believe how fast she's growing up. _is she another head taller?_

Piper dashes angry tears out of her eyes with the back of her hands and I really want to hug her, to comfort her. "Fuck You! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck You!" she all of the sudden screams and it takes my brain a few seconds to register what she said.

I was just about to correct her language but she doesn't wait for me to go on. "You think that now you are an almighty, powerful CEO that you can just abandon everyone who has ever shown you kindness, right? To leave mom, dad, Mia, Elliot, Ana all behind and just never see us, only stopping by on holidays. What did we ever do to you? What did I ever do to you to make you think it's ok to treat me like this?" she yells and for a second I think she might even punch me she's so angry.

"Do you know how many times Mom asked you to come to dinner? Do you know how much we worry about you? But what do you do? You just simply up and leave? How could you?" she screams and Grace comes running up.

"Piper Grey!" Grace snaps. "Stop this nonsense this second!"

"Mom. It's ok. She said nothing wrong." I assure my mother and as soon as the words leave my mouth, Piper bursts out in tears. "Why do you hate us so much?" she asks, wiping furiously at her now tear stained face as she buries her face in her hands and sobs as her shoulders shake.

"Shhh…sweet pea." I say, scooping her up and sitting her on my lap, although she's getting a little too old for this. I spent a good half hour helping her calm down while Ana led Grace away to help make dinner in order to give us some privacy.

"Do you hate us?" Piper finally asks and my pathetic heart constricts.

"No. I don't. I hate myself." I tell her, grabbing a comb and helping her with the knots in her hair. I know she likes people playing with her hair.

She sits in front of me while I work the brush through her long locks. "Why?" she asks and I sigh.

"Sweet pea, some really bad things happened to me when I was little and a teenager. I continue to choose to believe the wrong people. I'm sorry I let you down." I say, smoothing out her hair.

"What happened to you?" she asks, laying back down on her bed and looking up at me with her big hazel eyes. _She's definitely going to break hearts._

I sigh for the umpteenth time. "Sweet pea. You're too young to know just yet, but I promise I'll tell you when you're old enough." I confirm her as she gives me a little pout.

"Ok." she decides and looks down. "and…I'm sorry…for saying mean things to you…" she gets out and I allow a smile to tug at my lips.

"all is forgiven, sweet pea, and thank you for forgiving me too." I say, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm just curious…how did you learn that word?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"Fuck?" she questions and I nod. _Which bastard is teaching my 13-year-old sister swear words?!_

"Well, I heard Elliot say it a few times…" she trails off and I roll my eyes. _Of course._

"Don't say it anymore, ok?" I ask and she nods.

All of the sudden, I jump up, immediately changing the atmosphere. "RACE YOU DOWNSTAIRS!" I shout, already taking a head start to the stair well.

"Hey! Not Fair!" Piper also springs into action as we practically tumble over each other, both panting as we reach the kitchen with Ana helping Grace roll dough for apple pie.

"Somebody made up." Ana smiles warmly at me as I go over and circle her in my arms, kissing her right on the mouth, completely forgetting about the presence of my mom and Piper.

When I pull away, Grace and Piper are gawking at us. _Fuck, we wanted to break the news to them during dinner; I just got carried away._

"You guys…um…" Piper starts and I watch Grace shocked expression morphs into a huge smile.

"Um…we wanted to tell you guys during dinner, but I guess you already gathered what happened…" I stutter.

"Oh, baby…I'm so happy for you." Grace says, pulling both me and Ana into a tight hug and whispers something in Ana's ear which makes her giggle.

Piper is standing there with my signature smirk. "Well, who would have thought?" she laughs as she goes to hug Ana who happily embraces her.


	11. Chapter 11-A spanking

**Chapter 11- A Spanking**

 **Ana:**

We are lying in Christian's childhood room. Grace has insisted that we stay the night. I gaze out at their pool sparkling in the moonlight and Christian traces small circles on my thigh. "What are you thinking?" he asks while pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Can I see your contract?" I ask. Secretly, I'm a little bit scared. I shudder at the thought of the last time I was a sub. Christian has also offered to be my sub, although I declined. It was always very obvious that he was a Dom and I have been lying to myself all this time. I dislike being a Dom, I hate punishing people, but between my experience of being a sub and BDSM being the only thing I knew, I trained to be a Dom because being a sub terrifies me. Perhaps, I could do vanilla but I never thought I was capable of that type of relationship. _Morton has fucked me up too much._

"Baby…are you ok? If you're scared you need to tell me, alright?" Christian asks, pulling me into his lap while gently massaging my shoulders. A feel of safety washes over me. _Yes, I can trust Christian. Christian won't hurt me._

Christian pulls up the contract on his computer and holds me while I scroll through all of the white pages on the well-lit screen. He has deleted all of his rules except the one concerning my eating and one about safety. He also added one for himself in regards to visiting his family. I smile when I see this. I scroll down to the soft limits and immediately check for things that are hard limits for me. I allow my eyes to scan through all of the words but couldn't find anything that mentions canes, whips, or belts. Thinking that I missed something, I scroll through it again.

"Christian, where are all the harsher implements?" I ask, noticing how there weren't any suspension or genital clamps listed either.

"Baby, _never_ will I allow you to be hurt, even if it's by me." Christian says, kissing the spot between my eyebrows once again and I relish in his touch.

"Thank you." I whisper, snuggling deeper into the warmth of his body.

"anything for you, baby." Christian coos as we both lay down.

Morning comes and I open my eyes, knowing it's Saturday. My stomach twists itself into multiple knots as I know today is sub day. Christian is sleeping peacefully next to me but opens his eyes when he feels me stir. "Ana?" he questions, sensing my slight panic.

"Um…good morning, _Sir."_ I say, trying to force my brain into sub mode. I look at the ground beneath me, avoiding his eyes.

I was waiting for further instructions but instead I feel myself being pulled into strong arms. "Ana, relax." I hear Christian's soft command.

I look up, only to find a small frown pulling at his lips. "Ana, you don't have to be my sub, not now. Baby, just relax." Christian says, standing up with me still in his arms as if I weighed nothing.

He sets me down on his bathroom counter and runs his nose along my hair. I blink up, finding his intense, grey ambers staring straight into my soul, slowly peeling away all of the layers I so carefully learned to put on to protect my fragile heart.

"You ok?" he keeps on checking and I timidly nod my head.

"Baby, I have an all-day meeting today but I'll take you to Escala first so you can get more comfortable with your surroundings." He says, picking me up and spinning me around. I love this playful side of Christian.

The car ride is filled with the tune of classical music and Christian keeps on casting me worried glances. I try to cover the little tingle of fear blossoming in my stomach. Christian holds my hand as we step into his penthouse which rises above the rest of Seattle. So this is the ivy-tower that is his own personalized prison. I look around, there's not much. Everything in this room breaths masculinity and gravity, not a piece of furniture out of place.

"Come, I'll show you around." Christian says, taking my hand and pulling me into his big, open, black and white kitchen where I find a kind, middle age lady with her grey hair piled up in a neat bun.

"Gail. This is Anastasia, my girlfriend." He introduces me and she rushes to us, wiping her hands on her flowered apron. I was going to shake her hand but she pulls me into a warm hug instead. "It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, dear." She addresses me and I can't help but smile.

Christian proceeds to show me his study and walks me upstairs. He leads me to the end of the hall, bypassing a white-framed door with a perfect gold-lock to it. He opens the door on the end of the hall, it's a simple, plain white room.

"I call this the sub room." He says.

I gulp. "Will I be staying here?" I ask, hating how small my voice sounds.

"No baby, you'll stay with me, of course." He says, shutting the door. "How else am I supposed to sleep?" he jokes and I laugh despite the fact that my stomach's tightening from anticipation.

Christian leads me back to that white-framed door and takes out a gold key to go with the gold-lock. "baby, I know what you've been through, so if at any time, you feel scared or even uncomfortable, you need to tell me. I won't think anything less of you if you do, ok?" he asks and I nod, inhaling a deep breath to prepare myself to face his playroom. It's so different now that I am the sub. I wasn't afraid of my own club so why would his playroom be any different? Surely it can't be worse than Morton's dungeon.

I don't know what I was expecting but when the door squeaks and pushes open, my pounding heart quiets down. The walls are a deep wine red, lined with some sort of velvety fabric and I allow my hands to graze over the luxury material. There's a black chest of drawers in the back corner which I can only assume holds toys. I blush when I catch myself thinking about vibrators and Christian. I take note of the big, empty spaces in the room and walls where I knew held all of the scary implements. The room isn't frightening, the red bed in the middle actually looks somewhat inviting despite the shackles hanging from its mahogany roof. I venture into the room, with Christian following on my heel.

"Are you sure this was your playroom?" I ask, stopping by the only lone wrack in the room which holds an assortment of soft, leather handcuffs and a flogger with a riding crop. I know that these implements only look scary, but when actually used, cause little to no pain.

Christian chuckles. "Yes, it is." He says, grinning from side to side.

"Huh, I was expecting more of a medieval torture room feel, but I guess this works also." I tease as Christian pretends to narrow his eyes.

"I wouldn't be running that smart mouth if I were you…" he trails off because I already silenced his mouth by kissing him. I'm getting braver by the second after I saw his playroom, there's no way Christian will hurt me.

As he leaves for his meeting, I wrap him up in one last kiss. "I look forward to our scene, _sir."_ I whisper in his ear and laugh when I see he needs to readjust himself in his pants.

The last thing I hear is Christian muttering something about topping from the bottom as the elevator whisks him away.

 **Christian:**

Are you fucking kidding me? I left Anastasia just to listen to this bastard ramble on about his company which we are about to purchase? It has been 3 hours and he hasn't spoken a single, relative thing to us purchasing his company, he keeps on going on about his sales and _blah, blah, blah._

"Mr. Volker…" I pause for effect. "This is a complete and utter waste of both of our time. I'll see you later." I say, tossing his folder on my desk and storming out of the GEH.

I smile when I think about Anastasia waiting for me at home, she's probably reading in the library. I shoot her a quick text.

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Our scene**

 **Be ready and waiting for me in 15 minutes-kneeling position, panties only.**

 **Sincerely, your overly horny boyfriend, Christian Grey.**

I hear the ping of my email before I even reach my car.

 **To: My overly horny boyfriend**

 **From: Anastasia**

 **Subject: yes**

 **On it, sir ;)**

 **Sincerely, your anxiously waiting girlfriend**

I find myself grinning like an absolute loon on the drive back and rush to put on my torn jeans. I take a deep breath and snap my brain back to the special place where I possess all the control.

I push the door open and find Anastasia exactly how I wanted her. Kneeling, eyes downcast, back straight, hands on top of her thighs. Usually nothing turns me on more, but in this moment, all of my Dom instincts fly out of the window. It's been a long day without her and I need a hug.

Without another word, I pull her up and hug her tight to me. She seemed momentarily shocked for a second but gingerly wraps her hands around my back anyway.

"Everything alright, sir?" she questions but I merely nod with my nose still buried in her long, silky hair.

"God, you're beautiful." I mutter when I finally, reluctantly break our embrace and I am rewarded by her cute blush.

"Did you eat today?" I ask. I really don't think she'll defy me so hopefully I won't have to punish her for not eating today but my heart clenches when I see her face pales. _Why must she defy me?_

"Anastasia, look at me." I command and see her hands slightly shake at my gruff tone. I internally kick myself. _Can't you not Fuck up, Grey?_

Blue eyes gaze up at me and my heart squeezes. _Ok, I'll just need to find a way to punish her without hurting her._

I rub my hands up and down her arms. "Safe word, Ms. Steele?" I ask, my brain finally falling back into its role.

"Red and yellow, sir." She answers in a small voice.

"Don't forget to use them if needed, understand?" I drop my dominance once more just to double check on her.

"Yes, sir." Anastasia answers, bowing her head.

"Good girl." I whisper while gently pushing her shoulder. She takes the hint and immediately resume her previous kneeling position.

I go and sit on the red bed with my knees slightly apart. "Come here, Anastasia." I command and watch as she gets up and stands right by my feet, eyes still downcast.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I tell her and she nods, although a bit hesitant.

"I'm going to spank you." I say, still watching her reaction and notice how a shudder leaves her body. "With my hand." I clarify, enjoying the sight of the tension leaving her shoulders.

A spanking doesn't have to be painful, just effective.

I lightly tug her and she falls neatly across my lap. I lightly caress the small of her back. "Relax, baby..." I say and mentally remind myself that this isn't a place to be using sweetheart names like baby but when I see her shoulders relax, I couldn't care less.

I fondle her buttocks, slightly squeezing them to warm them up. "Safe word?" I ask again, _just to make sure._

"Red and yellow, sir." She replies and I think I catch a slight annoyance in her voice because I keep on reminding her. I am just so nervous that I'm actually going to hurt her. I have never given anything but punishment spankings.

There's a certain art to giving a spanking. For example, a flat and stiff palm provides a really mean sting, but if you cup your hand, the sting is dramatically reduced and can actually cause a warm-like sensation, but nothing painful.

I cup my hand and bring it down a whole lot softer than I ever used on any of my subs, purposefully bending my elbow so I don't use the whole weight of my arm.

 **Ana:**

I wait for the first smack to rain down but instead I feel a light tap on my read end. _Are you sure this is supposed to a spanking?_

"Why are you being punished, Anastasia?" I hear Christian's voice asks. _Ah, so that was supposed be a smack but I am not sure about the actuality of the punishment part of this._

"Because I didn't eat, sir." _Another tap. He must not be even raising his wrist a couple of inches away by how light the smack is._ I have the strong urge to laugh because of our comical position, but smartly bite my lip instead.

"And how many meals are you supposed eat?" he asks, "smacking" me once again.

"3, sir." _I'll play the part._

"Good girl." He praises once again, running his warm hands over my ass in a soothing but warning gesture.

"We'll go with 5 more." He says, quickly landing the soft, last 5 spanks.

Christian helps me up and immediately starts to caress my face. "You ok, baby?" he asks and I just can't hold on any longer, I start laughing.

"Christian…oh my gosh…I…you...are…such…a…softie…if I had…a problem…with that…I…" I fall down on his big, red bed, rolling over.

He gets up, his large frame looming over me. "Careful, Ms. Steele, you might hurt my fragile ego as a Dom." He grins, making his right dimple pop out profusely and I continue my giggle fit.

"Christian…darling…no offense…but I don't think you even slapped me as hard as you slap Elliot on the back…" I manage to get out, letting the giggles take over.

"Do you need another incentive, Ms. Steele, as the last one seem to have no effect on you what so ever." He says as he lets a lazy smirk grace his beautiful lips, grey eyes twinkling.

"How about you fuck me instead?" I say, moving myself into the middle of the bed and holding out my wrist, knowing he is a Dom in this room despite what just happened.

Christian curls his hands around my slender wrists, "How can you do that?" he asks, shimmering out of his jeans.

"Do what?" I ask, innocently.

"Topping from the bottom." He answers as he plunges into me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Christian:**

I inhale the scent of strawberries that smells like Ana until I realize she's soundly sleeping next to me, her long eyelashes sweeping over her blush-tint cheeks, messy hair matted all over her face. She must be exhausted from all of our…activities, but I have to say her stamina is incredible, almost outlasting mine if that was possible.

I want to do something sweet for her today, you know, the stuff that boyfriends are actually supposed to do for their girlfriends. I smile at the term, _girlfriend._

Now the only remaining question is how the fucking hell does this vanilla shit actually work? I think it involves me buying flowers or something. Without any other clue, I turn to the world wide wed.

My fingers dance across the keyboards and I type into google: _What sweet things can you do for your girlfriend?_

I scroll through the endless options, not liking any of what I see. Everything seems so fake, don't people do genuine things now day? I was about to give up until I stumble across a line.

 _Make Your Girlfriend Breakfast._

That's a brilliant idea, I bet girls like that, and it's even more perfect for Ana's stupid eating habits. I mean how hard can cooking be? _Come on, even Mia can do it._

With that in mind, I set out on my quest to make the best damn breakfast in this entire freaking universe.

I slip out of bed, being careful that I don't disturb Anastasia in her peaceful sleep. I pull up a recipe when I reach the kitchen, eggs and bacon, sounds simple enough.

 _1)-lightly crack the egg on a counter or something hard, pour content into bowl._

I grab an egg from the fridge and smash it against the counter top. How hard are these shells? But instead of the perfect little, white crack that forms when Gail does it. My egg splits straight in half, the sticky egg yolk dripping onto the newly washed kitchen floor.

"Fuck." I exclaim, _Perhaps I should use a little less strength._

3 more failed eggs later, I give up and decide to give bacon a try.

 **Ana:**

I roll over in the soft duvets, grabbing Christian's pillow and groaning into it. How is it already morning? I was contemplating of falling back to sleep until I sniff my nose… _Dear lord, what is that smell?_

I try sniffing the air once more and bolt up with the realization that the strange smell is indeed smoke.

I grab Christian's discarded shirt and start to slip it on as I bolt to the kitchen.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I hear Christian yell as I approach the smoke filled kitchen. There are 4 uncooked, raw eggs slopped on the kitchen counter and one on the floor. Christian, dressed in only boxer, is prancing and dancing about the stove, uselessly trying to fan away the smoke with a cook book, but the only thing he succeeded in was making the fire bigger by adding oxygen.

He has the fire on the highest setting and its yellow flame is threatening to lick him in the ass because he's standing so goddamn close to the stove.

"Fuck!" he yells again when some hot oil splashes out and stings him on the hand.

I run to the Christian, immediately shutting off the fire and pulling him away from the danger. He looks stunned as I continue to grab a big bowl and fill it up with water, dumping it on his positively burnt-to-jet-black bacon.

"Ana! You just ruined my bacon!" he gasps at his now soaked bacon with its still sizzling steam coming off of it.

I shoot him a look. "Christian, I hate to break it to you, but no matter what I did, that bacon won't be edible." I say, clicking my tongue and peering over at the mess.

Christian deeply sighs. "I just wanted to make you breakfast." He pouts. A pouting Christian Grey is a sight to behold and he looks absolutely adorable with his bottom lip sticking out.

I go to plant a gentle kiss on his lip. "Christian, darling, that's very sweet of you but let's both agree on the fact that you're not the best of cooks."

He continues pouting but pulls me closer, "I keep on fucking up." He mutters and I caress his face, tipping his chin up so I can stare him in the eye "No baby, I really appreciate your effort and it was a very thoughtful thing to do, it's just, you know, cooking might not be your forte."

I plant one last, firm kiss on his lip before pulling away. "How about you go shower and I'll get breakfast." I say, brushing his oily and now smoke-filled hair out of his face and lightly swatting his butt.

"Now scoot." I say when I see his grin.

 **Christian:**

I walk out of my shower half an hour later. I was thinking about calling Gail and have her clean up the mess I made but when I walk into the kitchen, I find it all cleaned up and Ana's dishing new scrambled eggs on to two plates.

" _Breakfast is served, sir."_ She says with a mischievous grin, setting down the two plates on my island. I laugh as I take my seat. "Why, thank you, _mam._ " I say, winking at her.

We enjoy a delicious breakfast. _How is it that woman can cook but I can't even crack eggs?_ Breakfast is filled with our usual teasing and banter.

I spot Sawyer walking into our living room and immediately stand in front of Ana at her state of nudeness in only my t-shirt. I told him not to come in unless given orders, this better be fucking important.

But as I eye Sawyer, I noticed something has shift in his usual stiff demeanor, he regards Ana with sad eyes before looking back at me.

"Sir, you should see this." He says, keeping his expression neutral.

"What is it?" I ask, sensing something very bad has happened by the way he's keeping his voice guarded. Unfortunately, he has also got Ana's attention as she comes back out with jeans on.

She joins me and I circle my hands around her waist.

"Sweetheart, go wait for me in my room, it's probably just something with work." I lie. Whatever this is, it is defiantly more serious than work and I don't want to burden Ana with any of my shit.

"It's not Saturday, I'm not going to obey your every command." Ana says, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows at poor Sawyer. I think she's still mad at him for allowing Elena in her club.

"Is it work related, Sawyer?" she asks, voice sarcastic. Damn, she's good. I see Sawyer squirm before answering. "Yes mam, it just has to do with GEH." He answers.

"Liar." Ana states, narrowing her eyes. That's one thing with Ana, all of her forensic science training gave her the ability to spot almost any lie immediately.

Sawyer doesn't respond, caught.

"Ana, baby, I'll be right with you. I can deal with whatever." I try the gentler approach.

"Christian. I can tell this somehow has to do with me the moment Luke walked in and looked at me. I don't know what it is but I am not leaving until I find out." _Oh, why is she so stubborn?_

"What is it, Luke?" I ask, not seeing any other way around this.

"A threat, Mr. Grey." Sawyer answers, keeping his stoic mass. I feel unease spread through me at the thought of someone threatening Ana.

"Well, where is it?" Ana asks, calm.

Sawyer visibly gulps as he reaches back and retrieves a mid-size white box with Ana's full name written across it. I was just about to open it, but Ana grabs it out of my hands.

It is clear that this is addressed to her, but I want to check it over to make sure it won't cause any trauma. I have received dozens of threats over the years, so nothing really fazes me, but when it concerns Ana, that's a whole other story.

I watch Ana's hand slightly shake as she opens the box. Her face pales and the box falls to the floor with a clunk.

Ana's hands continue to tremble as I bend down and peer in the box. A perfect, thick, leather belt lays, all curled up with its shiny, silver buckle glaring at me. Underneath the belt, is a card with scribbly cursive letters written over it.

 _Baby bird, did you ever think that you could escape me? Remember this belt?_

 _Morton_


	13. Chapter 13-scared

**Chapter 13-Scared**

 **Ana:**

 _I am cold, my hands shake against the hard metal handcuffs, the sharp edges digging into my skin. I try to still my trembling body but it continues to tremor despite my will._

" _Stay still, cunt." I hear Morton snarl at me and I choke back a sob. "Please, why…why…me?" I ask. I feel myself being slapped in the face once again. My cheek stings but my body is in worse conditions so I can't even concentrate._

" _You don't have a right to speak in this room, cunt." Morton sneers, yanking my hair and I try not to scream as my head jerks back. Why does my mom always have to go on business trips? She will protect me if she was here, right?"_

 _I bite on my lips, drawing blood as I feel his sticky breath by my ears and I try not to shudder, but as always, my body fails me._

" _Your mommy's not here sweetheart, and if you ever speak a word about this to anyone, I will tell the world what an ugly, fat, worthless piece of shit you are. What would your friends think of you when they see you like this, huh?" I realize I must have been voicing my thoughts out loud._

" _Please…please…I won't tell anyone…." I beg, standing on my tiptoes, I am suspended from the ceiling. Morton has adjusted the height just right so that my tippy toes could barely touch the cold dungeon floor but not enough to release the strain pulling on my shoulders, I really hope they don't dislocate again._

" _You better not, because if you do, I will kill you and your precious mommy…" Morton growls and tears stream down my face…_

" _Please…" my voice is cut off by my scream as I feel the belt buckle tearing into my skin._

" _I said shut up." Morton yells, furious and the belt slices into me again…and again…and again. I scream._

 **Christian:**

I startle up from my sleep when I hear Ana's scream beside me. Her body is coated in a thin layer of sweat as she struggles against the sheets, whimpering.

"no, no, no…baby…" I immediately grab hold of her shoulders and gently shake her awake. Blue eyes snap open as she stares at me, tears welling up in her beautiful blues.

"Christian…" she chokes out and I hug her. "I'm…scared." She cries, her body breaking out into uncontrollable sobs as her slight shoulders shake.

I pull her into my lap, "shhh…baby…calm down…I'm right here…I won't let anyone hurt you… you…you're safe…" I hush in her ears but it doesn't help. She desperately hiccups because she's crying so hard.

I try everything I can think of, rocking her and rubbing her back while whispering sweet things into her ears, but nothing works as she snivels against my chest, which I don't even realize.

"Shhh…" I continue to rock her back and forth, tucking her head underneath my chin. "Sweetheart, can you take a deep breath for me?" I finally ask because she's crying so hard she's starting to hyperventilate.

She tries to suck in a deep shaky breath but fails when another chocked out sob comes out. "shhh, it's alright. Try again." I softly command. "In." I say and suck in a deep breath myself, coaxing her through the steps. "and out…" I say, exhaling.

Ana shakily follows my movements and sort of gain control of her breathing. "I'm sorry…" she finally whispers, watery blue eyes peeking up at me and my heart breaks into a million pieces, scattering across the floor. Ana was always the strong one. It was her that saved me from Elena, her that comforted me in my nightmares, her that calmed the monster dwelling inside me. And now, it was time for me to do the same.

I know no words can heal her pain so I simply curl her body into mine. "Hush…" I whisper, stroking her sweaty hair.

Ana rest her head on my bicep as few stray tears continue to slip out of her eyes. I wipe them away with my thumb.

We lay like that for I don't know how long, looking out at the blinking Seattle lights. I continue to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and her hiccups turns into the occasional snivel.

She looks up at me, once again, smearing her nose with the back of her hands. I smile sadly at her and offer her my long-shirt sleeve. I don't want to leave her to go get a tissue. Ana laughs brokenly as she uses my sleeves to gracefully wipe away some snot. "Sorry…I'm discussing." She manages to get out in a small voice.

I strengthen my grip on her. "Nothing you can do can ever be discussing." I tell her, brushing away her messy bangs.

We bask ourselves in the silent night and I finally muster up enough courage to ask. "Baby, do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" I say as I rub her back.

Ana shakes her head against me. "Not really…" she admits in a voice so soft that I almost missed it.

"I think it will help in the long run…" I try to console her. _I need to find out exactly what Morton did to her._

"ok…" she surprises me. I wasn't planning on forcing her to tell me as I know that will hurt her instead of help but it warms my pathetic excuse of a heart that she trusts me with her story.

I gently kiss the top of her shoulder blade where her tattoo starts and listen quietly as she spills out the flashback that caused her nightmare.

I don't say a thing and simply tighten my hold on her, afraid that if I let loose, she will slip straight through my grasping fingertips.

When she's done, I feel wildfire spread through my veins. _How fucking dare he hurt my Ana? He will regret the day he was born after I'm done with him._

"Shhh…you're safe now…I'm right here…" I whisper to her. Without another word, I lift Ana up and carry her over to my piano. Music has always helped me with my nightmares, I let my fingers do the talking as they glide across the black and white keys.

Ana's snuggled by me as I play deep into the night. Slowly, her tears stop falling and her eyes drift close. I firmly tuck one arm under her knees as I carry her back to our bed, pulling the covers around her shoulders and tucking her in the soft duvets. It's not cold in the penthouse, but I lay an extra blanket on top of her just in case.

"Goodnight sweetheart." I whisper to her, pressing a wet kiss on her forehead.

I stalk to my study, dialing Welch.

"What the fuck, Grey. It's fucking 3:26 am." Welch grumbles into the phone.

"I need you to find every piece of information on Steve Morton." I cut straight to the point. If it's the last thing I do, I am going to kill Morton with my two bare hands.

"Sure, I'll get it to you by tomorrow morning." I hear Welch mutter, the lazy bastard's probably crawling back into his bed with his wife Julie.

"No! I want it now." I snap, not caring if I disturb his sleep.

"Geeze, what crawled up your ass and died?" Welch mutters into the phone and I actually feel a pinch a guilt. Welch has always been nothing but good to me.

"Sorry, I just really need this information." I clip back my gruff voice and Welch actually seem momentarily stunned into silence. I have never apologized to any of my co-workers before.

"On it, boss." Welch finally answers and I smile, reminding myself to give him a raise.

I hear the ding of my email in about an hour as I scroll through the information.

Checking the location one more time, I set out into the wintry night.

 **Luke:**

I hear the ding of the alarm go off, indicating someone has left. I trudge my way over, checking the security camera. Who the fuck gets up this early? But when I see my Boss, dressed in only grey sweater and sweat pants leave the building, I shot straight up and rush to put on pants and jacket, grabbing my gun, I set out after him. _He better not do anything stupid._

 **Ana:**

I blink open my sleepy eyes and find myself tucked snuggly into layers of blankets. Last night memories come washing over me and I allow a smile to tug at my lips at the thought of Christian. And he said he didn't do vanilla. _Give me a break._

I brush my fingers over my cheeks where the feel of his soft kisses still lingers and touch my own messy hair still evident of his deft fingers running through my locks. I look out at his black, shiny, baby grand piano and I think I can still hear the sweet melody drifting through the air.

I advert my gaze down, I didn't want to worry him with all of my baggage and I hate myself for allowing Morton to instill the previous fear in my heart. I should be stronger; I shouldn't let this bother me anymore, but seeing the all too familiar belt brought all my greatest fears as a child right back to the surface after years of stamping them down, trying to bury them into the deepest depths of my heart.

And although my hands still shake at the remembrance of my flashback, I know in my heart I can brave through this, because now, now I have Christian.

I rub my eyes once again and head to our bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. _This should wake me up._

I make my way through the kitchen, searing for Christian. I hope he gave up his notion for cooking, but I couldn't spot the usual, lopsided grin smiling at me.

"Christian?" I call, hearing my own voice echo through his giant pent house. Hmmm, that's strange, he usually comes straight for me.

"Christian? Please, I'm not in the mood for hide and seek." I yell, but the only sign of life is my own reflection spinning around the living room.

I check the time, 7am, he doesn't leave for work until 8. "Christian?" I try again, taking the steps two at a time and throwing open each and every door, one by one, but there's not the slightest signal of activity, the only trace left is his lingering musky scent.

Unease takes over me as I recheck every room. "Luke!" I call, running across the empty hall to the other suite, banging on the door. No one answers. Where the hell did everyone go?

I dial his phone number. _Ring…ring…ring…ring…ring…_ no one answers. I try Luke's phone, same thing. I then try, Elliot, Grace, Carrick, Piper, I even try Kate but no one has heard anything from him.

Without any other options, I dial my old forensic science colleague who works at the police station.

"Neil. I need you to track someone's phone for me and send me the address."

"Sure, what's the number?" Neil's cherry voice is the direct opposite of how I feel. I fidget as I wait for Neil to get me the info. Time stopped and I gnaw on my inner cheek. Finally, an address pops into my email.

My blood freezes. I know that address a little all too well.

My mind spins a million miles per minute as I rush back to my old, nearly abandoned apartment and unlock the top drawer of my desk, retrieving my Browning BDM handgun for safety purposes and tuck it into the waistband of my jeans. I then grab my big, over worn, leather jacket and tug it snuggly around myself. I try to think straight as I throw my hair up while finding a bottle of pepper spray and tucking that into my pocket as well.

Looking around one more time and pulling my jacket tightly around me, I set out into the wintry morning with overcast clouds, promising the usual rain.

 **A/N-Hide face**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Christian:**

I check the address in my hands one more time. This is it. I am in the worst part of Seattle, dim street lights flicker on and off in front of the tumbled over building with dead ivy layered on top.

I let the anger I feel wash over me once again before kicking the door, my fists are balled up and I am ready to throw the first punch, but before the door opens, I feel someone coming up behind me and I spin around, jamming my fist in the guy's thick skull.

"That's for Ana." I spit and jump on him, my fist connecting with his face again…and again. I feel blood ooze onto my fingertips but I don't care as I keep on going. The thought of him beating Ana sends a new wave of anger over me and I also start jabbing him in the rib.

"How does it feel to pick on someone your own size?" I sneer and was going to finish my sentence with a punch until I feel a wet washcloth press over my mouth. The last thing I remember is the guy's bloody face.

…

My blood vessels thump against my forehead as my eyes slowly drift open and a moldy smell creeps into my nose. I try to move my arm and legs but they are bounded with coarse rope to a chair. "Fuck." I yell as I struggle, pulling my body against the restraint but the only thing that greets me is the sharp bite of the rope digging into my skin.

 _Deep breaths._ I tell myself and somehow manage to get in a couple lung full of air before looking beside me. Sawyer, who is also unconscious, is bounded to another chair. Leave it up to that bastard to try to go after me.

I squint my eyes, letting them get use to the dark surroundings. Thankfully, I don't see any Ana. Now looking back on it, not the smartest idea of mine to leave her and go after Morton. But if I die, those punches were worth it.

I have never been scared of death. I believe whenever the time comes, I will go peacefully, leaving the world a better place. But as I contemplate what could very well be the ending of my life, I ask God to take care of Ana for me. If Ana is ok, then I am fine with whatever verdict I get.

Just as I finish the thought, the rusty door swings open, squeaking all the way. A guy appears in front of me, his face so littered with bruises that you can hardly see his disgusting features. The thought brings a smile to my face.

"So this is Ana's new Dom." The corners of his mouth lift up into a salacious grin and I spit on his face.

"I'm her boyfriend, cunt." I sneer with equal venom.

"Big difference." He hisses and I gag at his smoke-filled breath.

"What do you want?" I spit at him again and my back breaks out into goosebumps when I see his thin lips curl up, showing his weed-stained, yellow teeth.

"What I want is very simple, you see, you seem to have my girl." The words slither out of his mouth and I feel my boiling blood freeze mid-sentence.

"You don't have Ana." I state although I feel my voice waver. What if he has her locked up into another room?

Morton just shakes his finger at me. "no, no, no, you see, my friend, this is where you went wrong, I don't have Ana." and he adds. " _yet."_

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I shout, still trying to break free from the ropes.

Morton black eyes shone bright with pure evil as he clasps his hands together. "My, my, my, you really have underestimated Ana, haven't you?"

I keep silent, glaring at him but he goes on. "And Grey, did you really think Ana won't come for you when she finds out you are gone?"

"Ana isn't that stupid." I hiss but a little voice whispers in my head: _But you obviously were that stupid and now you jeopardized Ana, you dumbass!_

Morton raises his eyebrow. "Well, you obviously fell for my plan. You see, my friend, the moment I sent that threat, I knew you would come after me, you were a Dom, no?" He pretends to lament this fact by shaking his head. "so I had my boy ready for you when you showed up, but man, did you put up a fight. I actually was worried because I thought you would have more body guards but the only one that showed up was this bitch." Morton kicks Sawyer, who is now awake and growling at him like an angry, caged lion, showing his teeth.

"You fell for my trap-line, hook and sinker." Morton smiles and I actually vomit from the disgusting smell coming off of him.

At this time, we hear running outside and I wonder how Morton can see through the dust filled window, his grin widening. "seems like Ana fell for it too." He says as he takes out his gun and aims it at my head.

…

 **Ana:**

I call Taylor and Neil for backup at the last minute as I approach the old run down house, my skin crawls as I try to shake the memories that come with it away. I don't have more time to think as I throw open the black door, my only thought is _I need to save Christian_. I pant as I take the steps two at a time, the thin wooden planks shaking underneath me.

I don't stop until I reach the top floor, loading my gun. I say a silent prayer that Christian and Sawyer are still alive and kick open the door, gun loaded and drawn. But I stop dead in my tracks at what I see.

Christian's wide, grey eyes are frantically pleading with me to turn around and run, but I steal myself the courage and look up, meeting my darkest nightmare. Hard, black eyes squint at me and his face is so deformed with bruises that I can hardly recognize him, but one look at those thin lips confirms my trembling heart.

"Hello baby bird, long time no see." His sickly sweet voice sinks into my eardrums and his gun is jabbed directly in the back of Christian's skull, his body behind Christian, using him as a personal shield. There's no way I can shoot without the bullet going through Christian first.

"Let Christian go, this is between you and me." I say, pulling myself a little bit taller and hardening my gaze. _I am no longer the sixteen-year-old girl that was his own personal punch bag._

"No! Ana! Run!" Christian shouts as Luke still struggles against his restraint.

"What do you want?" I ask, ignoring Christian and hear my own voice, coldness seeping off of every edge.

Morton smiles that sickly smile once again. "I want you baby bird, didn't you miss me?" he asks and I take a deep breath.

"Let Christian and Luke go and I'll come with you." I say, making a show of putting down my gun and raising my hands in the gesture of surrender.

"Ana!" Christian's anguished scream tears at my heart as he bucks against his chair but Morton jabs his gun in his head, keeping him still.

"put your gun down. You said you would let them go." I say and catch the quiver in my voice.

"You come here first." Morton sneers, making a show of pressing his thumb against the lever. My heart catches. "ok, ok." I quickly agree and start moving my lead-filled legs. As I approach him, I let my left hand slip into my pocket, grabbing the small bottle of pepper spray. _Lord God, please let this work._

I continue to ignore Christian's heartbreaking pleas for me to stay away and turn my head when I see a big, round tear roll down his cheek.

"Ana, baby, please no…" he begs but I harden my heart, ignoring him.

My fingers curl around the pepper spray bottle as I come within arm reach of Morton and he has a wide, smug grin spread across his face. "I know you well, baby bird." I can feel his sticky breath emanating off of him.

"No you don't know the real me, you never will." I reply and use that one, exact moment where he was momentarily confused to whip out the pepper spray and push down on the button.

"Fuck!" he exclaims, dropping his gun and I quickly grab it, firing a bullet into Morton's leg and I don't think as I toss it aside. "Fucking…cunt…" Morton gasps as he rolls around on the floor, a big, red blood stain spreading across the wood.

"Christian, baby." I say, my hands desperately working away at the knots as I release him, tears sliding down my face and he wipes them away with the pads of his thumbs. I hear running outside and I know Taylor is here.

But before my hands can undo the last knot by his leg, a gunshot goes off, and Christian's heavy, muscular body weight collapses on me, red blossoming down his side and onto my hands.

"Christian!" I scream, my brain completely stopping. Just then, the door swings open and another shot goes off as I watch the gun drops from Morton's hand as a bullet pierces through his heart, blood immediately seeping through the creases of the wooden floor. Taylor is panting by the door with his gun, still pointed.

"Christian! Baby! Stay with me!" I plead, my tears mixing with his blood as my shaky hands undo the last knot. I whip off my own shirt, pressing it against his wound, watching the red blood mix with the black leather. Taylor rushes over to me, helping me lay him out.

"Christian, baby, hold on, help is here." I say, cradling his head in my lap, allowing my fingers to stroke his hair, trying to provide the last of comfort.

"Ana…" he breaths out as Neil comes rushing in with the paramedics. I watch, completely hopeless, as they lay his wounded body onto the stretcher and rush down the wobbly steps.

I run after them, jumping in the ambulance at the last minute as it speeds off, sirens blasting and cars scurrying off of the road to make room.

The EMT continues to work on my beloved as I take his hand. "Christian…" I cry, tears dripping down my face and onto his soft cheeks. His hands feel icy cold against my own.

"Shh…Ana…don't…cry…I…luv…" Christian gets out as his eyes role backwards.

The last thing I remember is the two white doors of the surgery room sliding close.


	15. Chapter 15-Beautiful, little fool

**Chapter 15-Beautiful, little fool.**

 **Ana:**

I pace in front of the surgery room. _Christian has to be ok; he has to. He wouldn't think about leaving me alone on this earth would he?_ I feel the tingle start in my nose and try not to cry, but stubborn tears still leak out of my eyes. If only I had thrown away that gun or if I had called Taylor earlier, if I did any of that, my love wouldn't be lying on a metal table with the doctors fighting every minute and second to save his life. I sink down onto the cold hospital floor, curling myself up and letting the tears come. Soft hands stroke my hair as I lift up my gaze, finding tears in Grace's warm, dark chocolate eyes. "Sweet girl…" she mutters, pulling me up and I throw my arms around her, both of us sobbing on each other's shoulder. "We need to trust the doctors, Ana. We need to believe that they are fighting, right now, for our Christian." Unable to swallow the new lump forming in my throat, I nod.

"It's…all…my fault…if…if…I…didn't have…a break…down that night…then…Christian…would…never…he wouldn't…have." I choke out, letting my tears soak Grace's white doctor shirt.

"Shh…dear…start from the beginning." So for the next hour, between my tears and half-formed sentences, I spill my whole story out to Grace. Everything. From Morton's abuse to my breakdown after seeing Morton's threat to Christian being shot. The whole time, Grace doesn't say a word, just gently wipes away my never ending trickle of tears with the back of her hands.

"Oh, silly girl, it didn't matter what your reaction was to the threat. Christian was still going to go after Morton, I know him, no matter how stupid it was on his part."

Just then, a distressed, matted knot of red, fiery hair comes hurling into my arms. "Ana…is Chris going to die…" Piper snivels in my arms as I try to smooth out her hair with my fingers.

"Shh…sweet pea, your brother is a really strong person…we need to believe in him ok?" I ask, not sure if I was even convincing myself.

Before I knew it, Mia and Elliot were wrapping their arms around us, and soon Grace and Carrick joined as well as we all held each other close in our little crying bubble, all of our hearts aligning as we prayed to God, a God that will give our Christian back. Time stopped as the universe ceased to spin in that one painful hour.

Finally, a doctor comes out, blue-gloved fingers removing the clear, plastic surgical mask. "Nathan, how is my son?" Grace asks urgently and Nathan smiles.

"He's going to be just fine, Grace." He says, the creases around his eyes bunching up as he shook Carrick's hand.

"The bullet just barely grazed his stomach so not too much hydrochloric acid spilled out and he was rushed here right in time, if you guys had been 5 more minutes late, I am afraid he wouldn't even have made it onto the surgery table." Nathan explains, giving Grace a quick hug while she kept mumbling incoherent thank you.

"Grace, you know I gladly took the job, I am sure you would too if Amber and Christian's situation were reversed." Nathan replies, handing Grace over to Carrick who mouthed a quick thank you to him.

With that, Nathan left us all standing there as new tears fell from our eyes, but this time it was tears of happiness.

A kind, middle age looking nurse dressed in scrubs came over.

"Family of Christian Grey?" she asks as all of our heads perked up at his name.

"Follow me…" she instructs as she led us down the mundane white hall way reeking of the smell of cotton balls and alcohol.

She led us to two solid white doors with the words ICU printed over them but my heart shriveled up into itself when she said family only and I tried not to let more tears well in my eyes. _After all, he was safe now, but it hurts so much that I couldn't see him._ When Grace saw my glistening eyes, she simply rolled her eyes as she tugged my arm, leading me in.

"Ana, don't be silly, you are family, I doubt Christian would be here if he wasn't fighting for you." She says and I clasp my hands over my mouth, trying to keep my sobs in.

"Now, now, no more tears. He's safe and back with us." Grace slightly chastises me as she dabs my cheeks with her doctor sleeves.

We all tip-toe over to Christian's bed and my heart clenches. I will my mind to focus on the steady beat of the heart monitor as I take all of him in.

Different Ivies and I-don't-even-know-what-that's-called machines are attached to him and his messy hair is unruly as ever, his body is slack, stretched out straight on the white hospital bed. He is in a medical induced coma right now but Grace said it was possible for him to still hear or feel us.

 **Christian:**

I feel five gentle kisses graze my forehead as they took turns. I can only assume the rougher lips belong to Elliot and Carrick, which means the three softer kisses are from Grace, Mia, and Piper. Why the hell is everyone kissing my forehead and why the fuck can't I open my eyes?

Finally, I feel the softest lips of them all press against my own, and I know that soft, delicate bottom lip can only belong to Anastasia who bit it a little all too often, causing the skin to be thin. I wanted to moan and open my eyes at the contact but my body is disobeying me as I try to force my eyelids open but they are so…so…heavy…I let the inevitable sleep take over once again as I dream about Ana biting that bottom lip of hers.

My eyelids still feel heavy but I force them open with great strength, immediately blinking from the morning sun streaming through the window. It takes me several minutes to gather my bearings but I eventually do, I look over and see a mass of tangled up brunette hair by my fingers and smile when I see Ana-head slumped on my bed while the rest of her body is sitting on a chair, her eyes are all puffy as she mumbles something.

"no…sleep…Christian…awake…" she mumbles, some of her saliva spilling onto the bed as I smile again.

I hear a light knock by my door and after a moment. My mother steps in with tears sparkling in her eyes. "Mom." I rasp, my voice hurts.

She quickly makes her way over to me, pressing another kiss to my forehead.

"Don't…cry, mother…I'm ok." I manage to say and she just shakes her head among her tears.

"Oh, Christian. I was so worried..." she says as I try to sit up to give her hug but she stops me.

"No." she slightly rebukes, "you'll cause stress on your wound." She says, holding my shoulders down and I obey.

She then motions at the door and my dad, Elliot, Mia, and Piper all file in. Kisses and kind words are exchanged and Piper couldn't stop crying, mumbling something about how stupid I am…

I give her my best, big smile. "Sweet pea, don't you miss me?" I tease and she pouts while kissing my cheek. I need a break from all these hugs and kisses, I swear, it's like they are trying to smother me or something.

Elliot's sly grin greets me also. "Yo, little bro, if you ever do something that stupid again, I will personally kick your ass."

I shake my head, amused. "I'm sure Ana's already planning on it." I say as I allow my fingers the luxury to stroke her hair. Man, she really is out.

Elliot just looks even more amused. "Man, you better keep this one, I'm telling you. You were in a medical induce coma for two days but she refused to leave your side or even go shower when Grace offered her the faculty shower here, looks like she finally couldn't keep her head up. She sat here for hours, man, she just sat here and held your hand." I shake my head, that sounds like Ana.

My family left for work and what not so now it's just me and Ana. I stroke her hair, wincing when I feel a sharp pain by my side. She startles up at the contact, clear blue eyes meeting my grey ones as she gasps.

Before I knew it, she has thrown herself around my shoulders as I feel hot tears trickle down the back of my neck as she buries her head in my shoulder.

"Shh…I'm fine…I love you…" I calm as she sniffles against me. When she finally pulls away, I point to my cheek, indicating I want a kiss. Ana laughs as more tears fall. She bends over and presses a light peck against my cheek. She laughs amidst her tears.

The happy atmosphere all of the sudden becomes more serious as she gazes into my eyes once again, determination settling among her pretty blues. "Christian Trevelyan Grey, I'm only going to repeat myself once and only once; If you _ever_ even think about doing something that stupid again, I won't hesitate to pull back on my Dom persona and haul you over my knees to spank the living shit out of you, do I make myself clear?" she asks, smacking me on the side just to emphasize her point.

I give her my biggest, goofiest grin. "crystal, _mam._ "

"Insufferable man." Ana mumbles which only makes my grin wider, if such a thing were possible.

She presses another kiss to my face. "I love you, Christian Grey, and don't you ever think about scaring me like that again." She says and with great effort on my part, I wrap my arms around her, holding her and her lips in place.

"I love you more." I tease and Ana smacks me on my shoulder but immediately rubs the spot when she sees me wince because of the wound on my side.

Just then, a male nurse walks in with a basin of water and a sponge. "Excuse me, Ms. Steele, I need to give Mr. Grey his bath." I laugh when I see Ana glare daggers at him, making the guy visibly gulp.

"I can do it. We won't be needing any of your help." Ana says, still glaring at him as she stalks over, forcefully grabbing the basin of water and shooing the poor guy out. He looks like someone has stepped on his tail.

"Geeze, I never knew you could be so protective, Ms. Steele." I grin as Ana wets the warm sponge and undoes my paper gown as she rubs the soft sponge down my shoulders, being extra careful with my stitches.

"The guy is probably gay and thinks you are too. He can go to hell if he thinks he is able to bathe _my_ boyfriend."

"They don't think I'm gay." I pout as Ana raises an unbelieving eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, right, you keep on telling yourself that."

 **Christian: (5 months later)**

I spin Ana around on the shiny, wooden floor, making her white long trail twirl behind us. Her long hair fell right below her hips as we dance threw the wedding hall and onto the lush, green grass outside. Ana kicks off her shoes as I hoist her into my arms and she squeals, kicking her bare feet and throwing her head back as I cradle her neck with my other arm.

My eyes water as I recall the exact words of her wedding vow.

" _Daisy Buchanan once said in The Great Gatsby that the best thing a girl can be in this world is a beautiful, little fool. Christian, you know I never believed in loved, I always thought that the type of love I read about in fairy tales didn't exist and I believed exactly what Daisy believed-that love made girls become fools, but Christian, there is nothing more in the world that I would rather be than to be your little fool."_ Ana was crying by now and I wasn't much better myself but she continues on. _"Christian, I promise to strengthen you in all labor, to let you rest on me in all sorrow, and to minster you through all pain, to become one with you in all the silent unspeakable memories till the moment of our last parting."_

I kiss Ana as I run, with her tucked snuggly in my arms, down to the lake as we escape the people dancing through the night. The moon shone brightly in the background as it casts a halo around my angel and I knew, I knew from the first moment that Ana saved me in her club that we were both meant to be each other's beautiful, little fools.

THE END.


	16. Epilogue (To love and to be loved)

**Epilogue-To love and to be loved**

 **Ana: (7 years later)**

I am mixing pancake batter in the kitchen, keeping an eye on Phoebe while she happily sips apple juice from her high chair, dressed in an Aerial onesie. Christian has an important meeting today so he's not going to be home for another 3 hours. I choose work from home so I could spend time with my darling boy and girl. I look out from our open living room window at the sound. We had quite the snowfall this year in Seattle and Teddy was absolutely delighted which made Christian throw a big fuss about keeping him warm while they built a snowman with a crooked carrot nose.

Christmas was nearing and Piper will be back for break from Harvard. Both Christian and Carrick were unbelievable proud of our girl, she's studying to become a doctor so she still has a good seven years to go. "mommy…" Teddy tugs at my sweater.

"Yes, baby boy?" I ask, smiling down at him.

"Can I go outside to play, pretty please?" he begs, making me laugh.

"I'm sorry, baby boy, but it's too cold in the morning, maybe when daddy gets back, yeah?" I ask, Teddy just turned six the other week and I'm sure he's dying to use the new snow shovel and tractor Christian got him for his birthday.

"But I…wanna play now…" Teddy whines, _oh my boy is stubborn like his father._

"We'll go out when your father gets back, alright?" I assure him and he seems pacified for now as he runs off to play with something else.

I continue doing small chores around the house like finish decorating the Christmas trees and hiding the kid's presents. I swear, Teddy has a radar for where I hide the gifts, he knows he's not allowed in our bedroom without one of us being there…in case he finds _stuff…_ but the other day, he crept up when I wasn't looking and found the collection of toy cars I got him which earned him a stern warning from Christian and a 10-minute time out.

I was just plating down lunch when Christian saunters in, dressed in grey suit and tie.

"DADDY!" Teddy shouts as he throws himself at Christian who tosses him up in the air before catching him again.

"How is my favorite boy doing?" Christian nuzzles his nose in Teddy's copper locks. That boy is a carbon copy of his father.

"Good! Can we pretty please go and play outside after lunch?" Teddy begs and Christian chuckles.

"Yes! but only if you wear gloves and a hat ok?" He asks and Teddy cheers.

"Yes Daddy! I will!" he promises.

Christian stalks towards me but not before kissing Phoebe's hair. "And how is Mrs. Grey doing today?" he teases as his hands snake around to squeeze my ass. I blush.

"She's better now that your home." I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively and feel Christian's bulge poking me in the stomach.

"Fuck, you're making me get a hard-on in front of the kids." He mutters in my ears as he adjusts himself.

"Later, Mr. Grey." I admonish as we all sit down to eat.

After lunch and our snowball "fight" with Christian and Teddy on the same team, we head back into our cozy house with Taylor setting up the fire. Christian hired Taylor instead of Luke as our new security because I never trusted Luke since he let Elena in my club all of those years ago.

I put Phoebe down for a nap as Christian sits down with Teddy. "Teddy, do you want to write your letter to Santa?" Christian asks, ruffling our son's hair.

"Yes, daddy but I already found a present from Santa in our house today. I don't think it's for me." Teddy pouts as Christian raises an eyebrow.

"Well, son, what did you find?" Christian asks and I couldn't contain my curiosity as I sat down in Christian's lap. As far as I'm concerned, Teddy didn't go into out room and that's where I hide all of my gifts…

"A ruler." Teddy states as I gasp and Christian's face looks somewhere between amused and mortified.

"And where did you find this ruler?" Christian asks as Teddy furrows his little eyebrows.

"Underneath the couch in the pool room, it has a ribbon tied to it with Mom's name." Teddy states as he blinks up and asks me with his big, wide eyes.

"Why do you need a ruler mommy?"

"um…" I flush scarlet. I didn't know Christian was planning on doing _that_ when the kids finally fell asleep on Christmas eve. I feel excitement surge through my stomach.

Thankfully Christian comes to my refuge. "Teddy, did you forget? Mommy wanted to measure the walls because she wanted to paint them, right?" Christian asks me, positively smirking.

"oh yeah, I guess." Teddy replies as I breathe a sigh of relief that our son seems satisfied by this answer. Thank god it was only a ruler and not a riding crop. Can you imagine, we would need to build a stable to make that question work.

I tuck Teddy into bed that night as Christian settles Phoebe down. She's not even two, but she already has her dad wrapped tightly around her little finger, I don't even want to imagine what Christian will be like when boys come into the picture.

"Goodnight baby boy." I say as I kiss Teddy's head after I finish reading cat in the hat for the twentieth time.

"Goodnight mommy." I watch as his eyelids drift close and his breathing calms.

I quietly exit his room as Christian finishes with Phoebe. I smirk as I walk up to him. "So what is it going to be Mr. Grey? Spank or be spanked?" I wink, twirling the ruler Teddy showed me. Damn, that kid found his father's Christmas present for me.

Christian's large frame looms over me as he grins. "Well, it depends on what Mrs. Grey is in the mood for. Top or bottom?" he asks as I lead him into out bedroom and shimmer out of my robe…

 **Christian: (Christmas morning)**

I feel someone pounce on my stomach as I groan, blinking open an eye to see my own grey eyes stare back at me as they glow with excitement.

"Daddy! Daddy! It's Christmas! Santa came!" Teddy jumps up and down, using me as his personal trampoline.

I moan in pain. "How do little knees always find that spot…" I grumble and now Ana's awake, blue eyes shining with mischief.

"Come on, Teddy, how about you go show me what Santa got?" she says, matching Teddy's excitement as they both race out of our room, and down the stairs.

"Be careful!" I call out behind them. _I swear sometimes I have three kids._

I shake my head before getting up to go join them. But the moment I step into the living room, someone jumps into my arms.

"Surprise!" Piper screams, shaking her red curls as her hazel eyes sparkle in the background.

"Sweet pea, I thought you weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow." I say as I give her a hug and she beams.

"Well, I came home early as a surprise." She announces and picks up Teddy who has been demanding a hug. She touches her nose to his. "And how's my favorite nephew doing?" she asks as Teddy gives her his big, wide grin. "Good, aunt Piper." He says in his sweetest voice and I pretend to not notice the bag of candy Piper slipped into the pocket of his hoodie. Piper's kid is going to be the most spoiled child on this planet, she gives into almost all of Teddy's demand.

Before I knew it, the whole family is filing in and Elliot is slapping me on the back as Ana goes to embrace Kate. Ava runs along with Teddy to go check out their new toys.

I shake my head condescendingly at my parents. "Mom, Dad." I greet, embracing them both into a hug. "Did you have to bring the whole toy store? I don't want my kid to be some spoiled brat." I say although we all know deep inside; I spoil Teddy more than anyone.

"hush, none of this nonsense. He's my grandson, I can buy him whatever I please." Grace slightly scolds me. I raise my hands in surrender. "Ok, whatever you say, mom." And I envelope her into another big hug. "Merry Christmas, mama bear."

"Merry Christmas, baby boy." Grace jokes back and I kiss her on the cheek.

Soon our whole, big family is situated on the couch in front of the burning fire. I am bouncing Phoebe up and down on my knee as Teddy shows Ava how his new toy helicopter works.

Ana serves everyone hot chocolate before situating herself snuggly beside me as we stare into the orange and red flames.

"Merry Christmas." She whispers as I press a tender kiss to her lips.

"Merry Christmas." I whisper back and I fall asleep that night, in front of a glimmering Christmas tree and a crackling fire, knowing that I love many and am loved by many.


End file.
